So, here we are, at the end of another week. I hope everyone had a great weekend so far and that positivity is pulsing in preparation for the upcoming week.
Tomorrow is my first day back to work in 30 days.
Thirty. Days.
That is a long time.
I am staying focused on my priorities and have pretty much stuck to my daily goals and intend to continue to do so as I get back into my real life routine. I have missed a thing here or there, but overall, I would give myself a 95% rating for staying on top of things.
Today, I am prepping my food. I made my menu and went shopping on Friday because I had all day plans on Saturday.
My friend's daughter's birthday was yesterday and it ended up being a perfect Saturday.
We began with a trip to the coffee shop (a must!) and headed out to a nearby farm to pick strawberries.
I have never picked strawberries before but it was really fun and I am so glad I did it. I brought my dog along too.
After the strawberry picking, we grabbed lunch in another nearby town and then headed to a park. The scenery was very pretty and my friend (who is an AMAZING photographer) got some really beautiful shots. My dog even decided to run and jump in the lake for a swim in the lake!
After the park we headed to an abandoned farm I spotted earlier this week driving back from lunch with another friend of mine.
It was really fun to shoot there.
Around 7pm, we started to head back to town and decided to stop for gelato before heading back to my house for a light dinner and a movie for the birthday girl.
It. Was. So. Relaxing.
Although is was busy and a full day, we had no real agenda other than we wanted to pick strawberries, go to the park, and go to the barn.
There was no rushing. We were able to enjoy every single second of the beautiful day.
All in all, everyone had a good time and needless to say, we were all worn out by the end of it. My dog has barely gotten up from his spot all day.
So, I digress....as I was saying, today I am prepping my food for the week. I just pulled my frittata (egg whites, onion, sweet potato, red pepper, broccoli) out of the oven and am about to make my protein bars (modified from Jamie Eason's recipe); to mine I added coffee grounds and omitted the carrots. This is the third batch I made so far and I am just messing around with some of the ingredients. I am about to pop those and my lamb meat balls in to cook.
My menu for the week includes 5 meals each day; there is an optional 6th meal (eggwhites and spinach) if I am hungry before bed. I also drink 1 protein shake blended with a frozen banana post workout on days I train.
Here us my menu:
SUN:
Egg whites and arugula, oatmeal with a splash of almond milk and flax.
Think Thin bar (this was just in my purse and was convenient; I don't normally rely on protein bars that I don't make myself)
Lamb meatballs with a dallop of Greek yogurt, cauliflower cous cous, and a salad of tomatoes and cucumber
Homemade protein bars
Coconut curry tofu and veggies with cauliflower cous cous
MON:
Frittata
Homemade Protein Bars
Coconut curry tofu and veggies with cauliflower cous cous
Celery with raw almond butter, hard boiled egg
Lemon chicken with green beans and sweet potato
TUES:
Frittata
Greek yogurt and blueberries
Lamb meatballs with a dallop of Greek yogurt, cauliflower cous cous, and a salad of tomatoes and cucumber
Chicken muffins and carrots
Italian Chicken with spinach, mushrooms, onion, tomato sauce, quinoa pasta, and a salad
WED:
Frittata
Homemade Protein Bars
Italian Chicken with spinach, mushrooms, onion, tomato sauce, quinoa pasta, and a salad
Celery and raw almond butter
Spicy shrimp with cauliflower cous cous and green beans
THURS:
Frittata
Greek yogurt and blueberries
Spicy shrimp with cauliflower cous cous and green beans; salad
Chicken muffins and carrots
Fish, broccoli, and sweet potato
FRI:
Frittata
Homemade Protein Bars
Chicken stuffed poblano peppers with spicy cauliflower cous cous
Celery and raw almond butter
London Broil, broccoli, and sweet potato
SAT:
Frittata
Chicken muffins and carrots
London Broil, broccoli, sweet potato, and salad
Homemade Protein Bars
(This is my shopping day so I will plan my dinner accordingly)
Pretty simple stuff.
The only things I am making ahead are the bars, meatballs, and frittata.
Everything else will be the day of and then packaged for left overs.
I first took inventory of all that I had in the house and tried to make a menu based on those items, my goal being to buy as little as possible to supplement. It worked out pretty well; I only spent $72.00.
This week I begin week 3 of Jamie Eason's LiveFit trainer. So far, I can't see much progress besides an increase in strength and I feel like I have more energy.
I weighed myself this morning but have decided that it is just not worth doing it every few days or even once a week.
Logically, I know that the scale doesn't matter and if I am working to build muscle that I may gain a little. I think instead of weighing in, I will take my measurements every week for the next 10 weeks.
However, I do think I will weigh in at the end of each phase.
Like I said before, I am doing this more to strike a healthy balance in my life. The weight will come off with continued smart choices and good care taking. This is not my first rodeo but it is the first one I am doing where I am looking to go 8 seconds. I am in this for the long haul.
I know this post was sort of all over the place but sometimes my brain just works that way. It feels so good to be posting again.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Goals and Priorities
I cannot wait to get back into the gym tomorrow!
Three rest days in a row is not my favorite; good thing this is the last week of that.
So, I went back to the doc today for a final post-op check up before returning to work next week. So far, he says everything looks good and the swelling should dissipate within the next month or so. If not, we will explore the option of going back in and doing the more invasive procedure. He said it is still too early to tell right now whether or not that will be necessary, so I just have to wait it out and see.
I will not be running for at least the next 30 days and at the end of that period of time, we will reassess and see what he thinks I will be able to do from there. At that point, it will have been 3 solid months of no running.
BUT...
I know that is is really not that big a deal. There are other cardio options available to me, so I am still ok with that.
This is kind of a different subject but, I mentioned going back to work...usually, for me that means going back to STRESS.
I have had nearly a month away from all the madness and I have to say, I feel ok to go back.
This time, I am armed with a plan. I have my priorities in order. I have clear goals. I have decided that I will not allow myself to be consumed by work.
My Husband and a couple of my friends have been extremely helpful and encouraging. They listened to me gripe and then helped me figure out ways to cope with my issues.
A lot of what I was feeling boiled down to feeling like I am always rushing and never have any time to do the things I love or want to do.
Between responsibilities at work and at home, I never felt like I could just relax and enjoy relaxing. There was always something I needed to do. Everything felt laborious.
Sometimes, I would just avoid all of it and waste hours on the internet. This method, of course, would accomplish nothing and I feel even more overwhelmed because I still had things that needed to be taken care of!
Self-sabotage, much?
I think this is one of the reasons I stopped taking good care of myself. I just felt overwhelmed and every little thing that was added to my "to-do list" was just another job.
I didn't make ME a priority. And not only I suffered for that.
So, I made a list, well actually more like a "schedule".
It looks like this:
Monthly:
Clean out refrigerator
Wash and detail cars
Now, you may be saying, "Brush your teeth? You have to put this on a list?"
Yes.
The thing is, sometimes I don't brush my teeth or wash my face before I go to bed.
It is a bad habit, I know.
It is also gross.
But I have to be honest with myself. And, as grodie as it may be, it is true.
I am sure everyone out there has been guilty of this at some point.
Don't judge.
This list is for me. So I can feel better about myself. So I can visually see what it is that I want to do to feel that way.
Not all of the things on the list are necessarily enjoyable but they are things that must get done.
As my Husband has called us, we are the "The Great Procrastinators of our time".
It is true.
There have beena few times where clean laundry just will not get put away. I hate that part of laundry. Once the dryer sings its happy "I'm done!" tune, I dread the next step.
Why?
I have no idea. But it is that way.
So, instead of feeling bad about it or weird or just letting my laundry pile up, I have decided to manage my procrastination by making a specific time to take care of it. This way, it is not hanging over my head.
To be honest, this was really my Husband's idea.
We have been talking a lot lately about what makes us happy and why we don't pursue those things more often. We are both experts at finding excuses, so in an effort to branch out and actually do some of those things, we both came up with our own time management strategy. His came first.
I was inspired by his improving attitude as he was realizing that "all the things I want to do but don't have time for" was actually not the case. He was finding that he did have the time and once he got a routine down, he was finding that sometimes, he would even have time left over.
After a couple weeks of him doing this, I decided that I wanted to get on board and I have slowly been working my way to today's scheduling culmination.
It is all about perspective, mindfullness, and paying attention to what is important.
I am excited to incorporate the extra things to my days and weeks with the things I have already been doing for the past couple weeks. It seems like a lot but I don't want that to discourage me from making it work.
As my schedule dictates, my goal is to blog three times a week. (I am already at 33%!)
Even if no one reads this or cares what I write about, it is a release for me, it feels good, and is my way of leaving an imprint of my existence.
Of course, I hope people read this. That was kind of the point.
I hope my past and present experiences help someone realize they are not the only one that feels the way they do and that they are not alone in their struggle. Better yet, I hope I can help them through it by talking about how I got through it myself.
That is my ultimate goal in this life: To make an impact and to help other people.
Three rest days in a row is not my favorite; good thing this is the last week of that.
So, I went back to the doc today for a final post-op check up before returning to work next week. So far, he says everything looks good and the swelling should dissipate within the next month or so. If not, we will explore the option of going back in and doing the more invasive procedure. He said it is still too early to tell right now whether or not that will be necessary, so I just have to wait it out and see.
I will not be running for at least the next 30 days and at the end of that period of time, we will reassess and see what he thinks I will be able to do from there. At that point, it will have been 3 solid months of no running.
BUT...
I know that is is really not that big a deal. There are other cardio options available to me, so I am still ok with that.
This is kind of a different subject but, I mentioned going back to work...usually, for me that means going back to STRESS.
I have had nearly a month away from all the madness and I have to say, I feel ok to go back.
This time, I am armed with a plan. I have my priorities in order. I have clear goals. I have decided that I will not allow myself to be consumed by work.
My Husband and a couple of my friends have been extremely helpful and encouraging. They listened to me gripe and then helped me figure out ways to cope with my issues.
A lot of what I was feeling boiled down to feeling like I am always rushing and never have any time to do the things I love or want to do.
Between responsibilities at work and at home, I never felt like I could just relax and enjoy relaxing. There was always something I needed to do. Everything felt laborious.
Sometimes, I would just avoid all of it and waste hours on the internet. This method, of course, would accomplish nothing and I feel even more overwhelmed because I still had things that needed to be taken care of!
Self-sabotage, much?
I think this is one of the reasons I stopped taking good care of myself. I just felt overwhelmed and every little thing that was added to my "to-do list" was just another job.
I didn't make ME a priority. And not only I suffered for that.
So, I made a list, well actually more like a "schedule".
It looks like this:
Monday- Sunday
AM:
Rise at 5 am
Leave the house NLT 545 am
Skin regimen
Brush teeth
Take vitamins
Fish oil
Eat on time (Goal is 2-3 hours)
Drink water (Goal is 1 Gallon a day)
Exercise (Goal is 4-6 times a week)
Rise at 5 am
Leave the house NLT 545 am
Skin regimen
Brush teeth
Take vitamins
Fish oil
Eat on time (Goal is 2-3 hours)
Drink water (Goal is 1 Gallon a day)
Exercise (Goal is 4-6 times a week)
PM:
Walk Bing for 30 minutes
Fish oil
Eat on time (Goal is 2-3 hours)
Drink water (Goal is 1 Gallon a day)
Skin regimen after dinner and chores, well before bed
Brush teeth
Floss
Study for 1 hour
Write or talk to Husband
Pack bag for next day
Pack food for next day
Be in bed between 9 and 10 pm
Walk Bing for 30 minutes
Fish oil
Eat on time (Goal is 2-3 hours)
Drink water (Goal is 1 Gallon a day)
Skin regimen after dinner and chores, well before bed
Brush teeth
Floss
Study for 1 hour
Write or talk to Husband
Pack bag for next day
Pack food for next day
Be in bed between 9 and 10 pm
Monday: Dust and sweep
Tuesday: Laundry
Wednesday: Brush Bing, dust, and sweep
Thursday: Laundry
Friday: Dust, sweep, mop, clean the bathroom
Saturday: Wash sheets, make grocery list and go to the gro sto, discard any old food; mani/pedi
Sunday: Go to church, prep food for the week; face mask and candlelit bath after dinner
Tuesday: Laundry
Wednesday: Brush Bing, dust, and sweep
Thursday: Laundry
Friday: Dust, sweep, mop, clean the bathroom
Saturday: Wash sheets, make grocery list and go to the gro sto, discard any old food; mani/pedi
Sunday: Go to church, prep food for the week; face mask and candlelit bath after dinner
Weekly as I can
Blog (Goal is 3 times per week)
Read for 30 minutes (the internet doesn't count)Monthly:
Clean out refrigerator
Wash and detail cars
Now, you may be saying, "Brush your teeth? You have to put this on a list?"
Yes.
The thing is, sometimes I don't brush my teeth or wash my face before I go to bed.
It is a bad habit, I know.
It is also gross.
But I have to be honest with myself. And, as grodie as it may be, it is true.
I am sure everyone out there has been guilty of this at some point.
Don't judge.
This list is for me. So I can feel better about myself. So I can visually see what it is that I want to do to feel that way.
Not all of the things on the list are necessarily enjoyable but they are things that must get done.
As my Husband has called us, we are the "The Great Procrastinators of our time".
It is true.
There have been
Why?
I have no idea. But it is that way.
So, instead of feeling bad about it or weird or just letting my laundry pile up, I have decided to manage my procrastination by making a specific time to take care of it. This way, it is not hanging over my head.
To be honest, this was really my Husband's idea.
We have been talking a lot lately about what makes us happy and why we don't pursue those things more often. We are both experts at finding excuses, so in an effort to branch out and actually do some of those things, we both came up with our own time management strategy. His came first.
I was inspired by his improving attitude as he was realizing that "all the things I want to do but don't have time for" was actually not the case. He was finding that he did have the time and once he got a routine down, he was finding that sometimes, he would even have time left over.
After a couple weeks of him doing this, I decided that I wanted to get on board and I have slowly been working my way to today's scheduling culmination.
It is all about perspective, mindfullness, and paying attention to what is important.
I am excited to incorporate the extra things to my days and weeks with the things I have already been doing for the past couple weeks. It seems like a lot but I don't want that to discourage me from making it work.
As my schedule dictates, my goal is to blog three times a week. (I am already at 33%!)
Even if no one reads this or cares what I write about, it is a release for me, it feels good, and is my way of leaving an imprint of my existence.
Of course, I hope people read this. That was kind of the point.
I hope my past and present experiences help someone realize they are not the only one that feels the way they do and that they are not alone in their struggle. Better yet, I hope I can help them through it by talking about how I got through it myself.
That is my ultimate goal in this life: To make an impact and to help other people.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
In the Bag!
This week I started a 12 week program designed by the gorgeous and ripped Jamie Eason.
I have been a member of bodybuilding.com (see my Body Space here) since late February 2007, when I was just getting into my fitness seriously.
At that time, I was working with a trainer and he whipped me into shape in about 4 months. It was like day and night. I wish I still had those photos.....
Anyway, I was leaving FL to move to Hawaii and my sister actually introduced me to the www.bodybuilding.com website. I was instantly addicted. It like FB for fitness. I have used this site as a tool and resource since then and I have met and kept in touch with quite a few amazing people over the years via the site. It is definitely a dynamic community with loads of information, articles, a store, and now, the LiveFit Trainer .
The trainer is completely FREE. It lays out a nutrition plan AND workouts.
This is JAMIE EASON, people! FOR FREE!
Ok, before I make it sound like a gimmick, let me give you the deets.
It is a 3 phase program. Each phase is 4 weeks long. Each day of each phase is accessible through the site where it will give workout and nutrition info for ladies and guys; guys' portions are obviously larger and the quantities are plainly laid out in the plan.
The great thing is...no matter your fitness level, this program will benefit you. The transformations are INCREDIBLE.
And there are no "magic pills" or "fat burners" used; just balanced clean food and exercise.
Today, I am going to post some pics....I have some from last year when I competed and I am going to show everyone what is going on with me now.
I took the "NOW" pics earlier this week, at the start of my 12 weeks.
Today was the final workout of the week. The schedule was 4 days on, 3 days off. My workouts seriously took between 30-45 minutes.
Right now (Phase 1) I am not doing any cardio, as prescribed by the plan. This works out great for me because I am still recovering from foot surgery; I am ok to lift but still not feeling like I could hop on an elliptical or treadmill. In a month or so (when this phase is over), probably more likely.
Also, I am pretty sore, but not so much that it is painful. It is a soreness that makes me realize that I did something, so that makes me feel accomplished.
So, for the next couple weeks, I will be on a 4/3 schedule. Week 3 moves to 5 on, 2 off.
I am interested to see how I improve.
I am no novice when it comes to getting in great shape but I always struggle once I am there.
Then, I always end back at where I am right now.
Like I said in my last post, I am learning to be gentle with myself and I also want to find that balance where I can enjoy life and make healthy choices for myself overall.
I am hoping that, through this program and its lessons on daily balance that I can achieve the relief I am seeking.
Here are those pics I promised. All pics are unedited.
I have been a member of bodybuilding.com (see my Body Space here) since late February 2007, when I was just getting into my fitness seriously.
At that time, I was working with a trainer and he whipped me into shape in about 4 months. It was like day and night. I wish I still had those photos.....
Anyway, I was leaving FL to move to Hawaii and my sister actually introduced me to the www.bodybuilding.com website. I was instantly addicted. It like FB for fitness. I have used this site as a tool and resource since then and I have met and kept in touch with quite a few amazing people over the years via the site. It is definitely a dynamic community with loads of information, articles, a store, and now, the LiveFit Trainer .
The trainer is completely FREE. It lays out a nutrition plan AND workouts.
This is JAMIE EASON, people! FOR FREE!
Ok, before I make it sound like a gimmick, let me give you the deets.
It is a 3 phase program. Each phase is 4 weeks long. Each day of each phase is accessible through the site where it will give workout and nutrition info for ladies and guys; guys' portions are obviously larger and the quantities are plainly laid out in the plan.
The great thing is...no matter your fitness level, this program will benefit you. The transformations are INCREDIBLE.
And there are no "magic pills" or "fat burners" used; just balanced clean food and exercise.
Today, I am going to post some pics....I have some from last year when I competed and I am going to show everyone what is going on with me now.
I took the "NOW" pics earlier this week, at the start of my 12 weeks.
Today was the final workout of the week. The schedule was 4 days on, 3 days off. My workouts seriously took between 30-45 minutes.
Right now (Phase 1) I am not doing any cardio, as prescribed by the plan. This works out great for me because I am still recovering from foot surgery; I am ok to lift but still not feeling like I could hop on an elliptical or treadmill. In a month or so (when this phase is over), probably more likely.
Also, I am pretty sore, but not so much that it is painful. It is a soreness that makes me realize that I did something, so that makes me feel accomplished.
So, for the next couple weeks, I will be on a 4/3 schedule. Week 3 moves to 5 on, 2 off.
I am interested to see how I improve.
I am no novice when it comes to getting in great shape but I always struggle once I am there.
Then, I always end back at where I am right now.
Like I said in my last post, I am learning to be gentle with myself and I also want to find that balance where I can enjoy life and make healthy choices for myself overall.
I am hoping that, through this program and its lessons on daily balance that I can achieve the relief I am seeking.
Here are those pics I promised. All pics are unedited.
 |
| 18 days before my show. |
 |
| About a week out. |
 |
| My good friend Cat who flew to KC with me and my Husband; she treated me like a rockstar! |
 |
| Rooftop photoshoot. |
 |
| Gym Photoshoot. |
 |
| Me and another bestie, Liz, who was in the same category with me. |
 |
| This was my theme wear. I was a chef! |
 |
| Mirror shot in the bathroom. |
 |
| Me and one of my besties, Katie Jo. |
 |
 |
| Wednesday April 4, 2012. This is hard to look at in comparison, but it is what it is. |
Friday, April 6, 2012
April Showers Bring May Flowers
It is officially Spring.
The sun is out, birds are chirping, flowers are blooming.
As for me, it has been a tough transition from last Spring until now.
After my May 2011 competition in Kansas City, I struggled with my weight and overall body image. I began eating what I wanted, drinking, and ultimately I put on nearly 20 pounds over 10 months. That is a steady gain.
I also had foot surgery in March so I have not been super mobile in the past month and a half.
But, with that gain and struggle I learned a lot too and I really feel that in order for me to grow in this area and move on with living my life, I needed to experience the struggle. Through my recovery from surgery, I have been given the opportunity to re-focus on what is important to me in my life.
Last summer, I read a couple books that gave me good insight.
The first was "The End of Overeating. Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite" by David Kessler. I learned so much from this book, especially how big companies target consumers by using layering techniques of sugar, fat, and salt to keep people eating and buying more of the product. Our brains are wired to crave more sugar, fat, and salt when consumed together; the industry just preys on that fact.
The second book I read was "Intuitive Eating, a Revolutionary Program that Works" by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. This book dumps some common nutritional beliefs on their heads. This book focuses on how every person is different and blanket diets (or diets that lead to deprivation) are a big no-no. It also teaches about how we have this inherent ability to regulate our food intake from birth, but it is usually lost as we are brought up; parents undoubtedly influence what, when, and how much a child eats. While people may think they are doing the best thing for their child, they could be interfering with their natural ability to regulate appropriate food intake.
Their basic point is it doesn't have to be an exact amount of food day in and day out; some days you will want more and some less, but in the end, it balances out. They also believe that no food is inherently bad. What is bad is over-consumption and mindlessness.
This theory resonated with me and still does and several others whom I have studied seem to have a similar opinion. Even when I had my bouts with overeating after reading these books, I could more clearly see triggers, and could better recognize my feelings while in the moment (whereas before it was almost like an out of body experience). Even in a binge, I could be mindful. That might sound odd, but it was a step in the right direction.
When I was prepping for my competition last year, I was very hard on myself. The smallest slip up would send me reeling. I went from being an overeater (all binge, no purge) to experiencing episodes of bulimia. It was kind of enthralling at first, it made me feel powerful in a strange way. That I could command my body to rid itself of what I had desperately craved only moments earlier gave me a feeling of indestructible, although I was indeed destroying myself each time I engaged in this behavior. It did not become an problem, per se; I realized that what I was doing was completely unhealthy and that I needed to stop. Although here were not many, there were probably a half dozen episodes in a month's time.
From that, I tried to re-learn my body, my eating type, my habits. I wanted to dissect them in a way that I was too scared to do in the past. I wanted to look at myself objectively.
I have been on a journey to do just that.
While I have learned a lot about what triggers me (anger, frustration, and anxiety) I still struggle with the default state that I have grown accustomed to over the course of my life. I am better able to talk myself down from the self destruction ledge and reason with myself. Sometimes, I allow myself the indulgence; many times, I feel little to no guilt afterward. Sometimes, I do. It depends on the situation, my state of mind, and surrounding circumstances.
It is really all about perspective and where you are with yourself.
There will be good days and there will be not-so-good days. But, that is life.
I have realized what my priorities are;I also realized I was focusing way too much attention on things I cared nothing about (in the big picture).
I have decided to be gentle and loving with myself; I will treat myself well and be patient with myself.
In an effort to do just that, I have decided to start blogging again. It really helps me (and hopefully others) realize my issues and feelings about things. Sometimes I don't even know I feel a certain way until it comes out in my writing.
In an effort to be better to myself, I am really going to focus on putting good, nutritious fuel in my body and moving my body everyday.
As this post started out, it is Springtime. On a walk with my dog today, I looked up at the sky and felt ALIVE for the first time in a long time. I felt THANKFUL that God has blessed me with a capable body in which I can use to do good, healthy things. It was a remarkable feeling to realize how much I take for granted in my life. Why waste it by trying to continually destroy it?
Instead, I am choosing to cherish, honor, and nurture my mind, my body, and my spirit.
This is not a dress-rehearsal. This is my life, the only one I have on this Earth, so why not make the most of every day that I am lucky enough to be here?
This will not be accomplished easily. It will take hard work. But it is worth the dedication.
When I think of all the other things I spend time on...either through doing or pondering, I am choosing to make me and my well-being a priority.
The sun is out, birds are chirping, flowers are blooming.
As for me, it has been a tough transition from last Spring until now.
After my May 2011 competition in Kansas City, I struggled with my weight and overall body image. I began eating what I wanted, drinking, and ultimately I put on nearly 20 pounds over 10 months. That is a steady gain.
I also had foot surgery in March so I have not been super mobile in the past month and a half.
But, with that gain and struggle I learned a lot too and I really feel that in order for me to grow in this area and move on with living my life, I needed to experience the struggle. Through my recovery from surgery, I have been given the opportunity to re-focus on what is important to me in my life.
Last summer, I read a couple books that gave me good insight.
The first was "The End of Overeating. Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite" by David Kessler. I learned so much from this book, especially how big companies target consumers by using layering techniques of sugar, fat, and salt to keep people eating and buying more of the product. Our brains are wired to crave more sugar, fat, and salt when consumed together; the industry just preys on that fact.
The second book I read was "Intuitive Eating, a Revolutionary Program that Works" by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. This book dumps some common nutritional beliefs on their heads. This book focuses on how every person is different and blanket diets (or diets that lead to deprivation) are a big no-no. It also teaches about how we have this inherent ability to regulate our food intake from birth, but it is usually lost as we are brought up; parents undoubtedly influence what, when, and how much a child eats. While people may think they are doing the best thing for their child, they could be interfering with their natural ability to regulate appropriate food intake.
Their basic point is it doesn't have to be an exact amount of food day in and day out; some days you will want more and some less, but in the end, it balances out. They also believe that no food is inherently bad. What is bad is over-consumption and mindlessness.
This theory resonated with me and still does and several others whom I have studied seem to have a similar opinion. Even when I had my bouts with overeating after reading these books, I could more clearly see triggers, and could better recognize my feelings while in the moment (whereas before it was almost like an out of body experience). Even in a binge, I could be mindful. That might sound odd, but it was a step in the right direction.
When I was prepping for my competition last year, I was very hard on myself. The smallest slip up would send me reeling. I went from being an overeater (all binge, no purge) to experiencing episodes of bulimia. It was kind of enthralling at first, it made me feel powerful in a strange way. That I could command my body to rid itself of what I had desperately craved only moments earlier gave me a feeling of indestructible, although I was indeed destroying myself each time I engaged in this behavior. It did not become an problem, per se; I realized that what I was doing was completely unhealthy and that I needed to stop. Although here were not many, there were probably a half dozen episodes in a month's time.
From that, I tried to re-learn my body, my eating type, my habits. I wanted to dissect them in a way that I was too scared to do in the past. I wanted to look at myself objectively.
I have been on a journey to do just that.
While I have learned a lot about what triggers me (anger, frustration, and anxiety) I still struggle with the default state that I have grown accustomed to over the course of my life. I am better able to talk myself down from the self destruction ledge and reason with myself. Sometimes, I allow myself the indulgence; many times, I feel little to no guilt afterward. Sometimes, I do. It depends on the situation, my state of mind, and surrounding circumstances.
It is really all about perspective and where you are with yourself.
There will be good days and there will be not-so-good days. But, that is life.
I have realized what my priorities are;I also realized I was focusing way too much attention on things I cared nothing about (in the big picture).
I have decided to be gentle and loving with myself; I will treat myself well and be patient with myself.
In an effort to do just that, I have decided to start blogging again. It really helps me (and hopefully others) realize my issues and feelings about things. Sometimes I don't even know I feel a certain way until it comes out in my writing.
In an effort to be better to myself, I am really going to focus on putting good, nutritious fuel in my body and moving my body everyday.
As this post started out, it is Springtime. On a walk with my dog today, I looked up at the sky and felt ALIVE for the first time in a long time. I felt THANKFUL that God has blessed me with a capable body in which I can use to do good, healthy things. It was a remarkable feeling to realize how much I take for granted in my life. Why waste it by trying to continually destroy it?
Instead, I am choosing to cherish, honor, and nurture my mind, my body, and my spirit.
This is not a dress-rehearsal. This is my life, the only one I have on this Earth, so why not make the most of every day that I am lucky enough to be here?
This will not be accomplished easily. It will take hard work. But it is worth the dedication.
When I think of all the other things I spend time on...either through doing or pondering, I am choosing to make me and my well-being a priority.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Time Flies
Well, well, well....time sure does fly when you are having a good time.
These past few months have been a whirlwind and sadly, I have done a poor job of documenting them here.
On May 21, I stood tall and tan in 5 inch clear heels on stage in a micro-bikini in front of hundreds of people under bright lights and with loud thumping music filling my ears at the Midland Theater in Kansas City, MO.
It. Was. Awesome.
I was blessed to have a couple of my besties along with me. Liz and I stood right next to each other on stage and Katie was in a different category, but we got to spend time backstage together. It was exciting and nothing like I imagined at all.
The WBFF put together a fantastic show and the promoters were amazing, detail oriented, and the show went off without a hitch (well, Hitch Fit was in the house, but that is a different story).
Hi guys!
The women I met were kind, amazing, inspiring, FRIENDLY, and so truly dedicated that it made me so proud to be a part of it all.
I trained long and hard for 16 weeks. Was it worth it? In many ways, yes.
It was something that I have been wanting to do for such a long time now and the fact that I did it is just mind-blowing. I am super proud of myself.
That being said, I don't think it is something I want to be doing all year.
Although I did not place, I didn't care. The experience was worth it to me as well as the memories, the people I met, the things learned about myself, and getting to see Kansas City.
I got to spend some time with one of my oldest friends who happens to live there.
I ate the most delicious bar-b-que I have ever had.
I celebrated with great friends, good food, and delicious brew (and wine!).
Now, with this behind me, I set my sights on new goals.
On Oct 29, 2011 I am running my very first half marathon in Greenville, SC.
My training schedule is a bit different and I am doing my own nutrition. I am using the Eat Clean Diet and the Eat Clean Diet Magazine as my guide.
I am definitely eating more now than I was during competition prep, but my overall intake is not too terribly different (except my carbs, but most of them are coming from the copious amounts of veggies I am eating).
Right now I am taking in between 1600-1800 calories a day.
I feel good and I have only gained a few pounds post show. Not too bad.
I will say that I was still carrying a considerable amount of body fat compared to other girls on stage, but even still, I felt like a million bucks. It didn't matter to me.
After the show (and a horrible travel experience returning home...although we did have an impromptu vaca in Dallas for a couple days and got to check out the aquarium and some of downtown, which was fun) we went on vacation for nearly a month.
We spent the majority of our time in Florida, split between Tampa/St Pete and Jacksonville.
After seeing friends. family, going and doing, partying, and visiting the theme park we decided to head back home and start our staycation.
It was a busy 2 weeks with house projects and getting things in major order while we had the opportunity.
My Husband even gave me carte blanche in the Master Bedroom and I created a sexy, loungy Morrocan/Boho inspired spacewe could both enjoy.
But, I have to be honest here......I have had a hard time staying motivated in terms of getting into the gym and working out.
Don't get me wrong...I have worked out, gone running, and have eaten pretty clean.
BUT.....
I have done JUST ENOUGH to not lose it totally and I have had plenty of treats (and drinks!).
I was so glad to get back to work and on a regular schedule.
This week wasn't the BEST example for that with the holiday weekend and all, but I did work out more this week than I have in a while, and it felt pretty good (and left me pretty sore!).
I decided that I was going to follow the Eat Clean 2 week plan found in this Eat Clean Magazine and so far I am loving the simplicity and great taste of the recipes.
Sometimes I tend to over-complicate things and this menu makes me understand that things can be simple and satisfying.
I have been a clean eating advocate for many years now, but sometimes, it is nice to just go back to the basics.
Sometimes we can overload ourselves with information that we obtain online, from self proclaimed "experts" and even the government.
Detoxing ourselves and getting back to simple eating is sometimes just what we need to gain perspective. It is true for me, anyway.
I know this is a long post, but it has been such a long time...I miss this.
I am going to try to get back into posting more often...at least once a week.
Pics will be added soon.
Peace, love, and God Bless.
These past few months have been a whirlwind and sadly, I have done a poor job of documenting them here.
On May 21, I stood tall and tan in 5 inch clear heels on stage in a micro-bikini in front of hundreds of people under bright lights and with loud thumping music filling my ears at the Midland Theater in Kansas City, MO.
It. Was. Awesome.
I was blessed to have a couple of my besties along with me. Liz and I stood right next to each other on stage and Katie was in a different category, but we got to spend time backstage together. It was exciting and nothing like I imagined at all.
The WBFF put together a fantastic show and the promoters were amazing, detail oriented, and the show went off without a hitch (well, Hitch Fit was in the house, but that is a different story).
Hi guys!
The women I met were kind, amazing, inspiring, FRIENDLY, and so truly dedicated that it made me so proud to be a part of it all.
I trained long and hard for 16 weeks. Was it worth it? In many ways, yes.
It was something that I have been wanting to do for such a long time now and the fact that I did it is just mind-blowing. I am super proud of myself.
That being said, I don't think it is something I want to be doing all year.
Although I did not place, I didn't care. The experience was worth it to me as well as the memories, the people I met, the things learned about myself, and getting to see Kansas City.
I got to spend some time with one of my oldest friends who happens to live there.
I ate the most delicious bar-b-que I have ever had.
I celebrated with great friends, good food, and delicious brew (and wine!).
Now, with this behind me, I set my sights on new goals.
On Oct 29, 2011 I am running my very first half marathon in Greenville, SC.
My training schedule is a bit different and I am doing my own nutrition. I am using the Eat Clean Diet and the Eat Clean Diet Magazine as my guide.
I am definitely eating more now than I was during competition prep, but my overall intake is not too terribly different (except my carbs, but most of them are coming from the copious amounts of veggies I am eating).
Right now I am taking in between 1600-1800 calories a day.
I feel good and I have only gained a few pounds post show. Not too bad.
I will say that I was still carrying a considerable amount of body fat compared to other girls on stage, but even still, I felt like a million bucks. It didn't matter to me.
After the show (and a horrible travel experience returning home...although we did have an impromptu vaca in Dallas for a couple days and got to check out the aquarium and some of downtown, which was fun) we went on vacation for nearly a month.
We spent the majority of our time in Florida, split between Tampa/St Pete and Jacksonville.
After seeing friends. family, going and doing, partying, and visiting the theme park we decided to head back home and start our staycation.
It was a busy 2 weeks with house projects and getting things in major order while we had the opportunity.
My Husband even gave me carte blanche in the Master Bedroom and I created a sexy, loungy Morrocan/Boho inspired spacewe could both enjoy.
But, I have to be honest here......I have had a hard time staying motivated in terms of getting into the gym and working out.
Don't get me wrong...I have worked out, gone running, and have eaten pretty clean.
BUT.....
I have done JUST ENOUGH to not lose it totally and I have had plenty of treats (and drinks!).
I was so glad to get back to work and on a regular schedule.
This week wasn't the BEST example for that with the holiday weekend and all, but I did work out more this week than I have in a while, and it felt pretty good (and left me pretty sore!).
I decided that I was going to follow the Eat Clean 2 week plan found in this Eat Clean Magazine and so far I am loving the simplicity and great taste of the recipes.
Sometimes I tend to over-complicate things and this menu makes me understand that things can be simple and satisfying.
I have been a clean eating advocate for many years now, but sometimes, it is nice to just go back to the basics.
Sometimes we can overload ourselves with information that we obtain online, from self proclaimed "experts" and even the government.
Detoxing ourselves and getting back to simple eating is sometimes just what we need to gain perspective. It is true for me, anyway.
I know this is a long post, but it has been such a long time...I miss this.
I am going to try to get back into posting more often...at least once a week.
Pics will be added soon.
Peace, love, and God Bless.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
18 weeks out
Well, this week was the first week back to training.
I did pretty well, as my body is weak and recovering from a nasty flu strain.
I got in 4/6 days resistance training and 4/5 days cardio training. It is a new program for me and I am a little unfamiliar with it so I am using this first week to go through it, kind of like a "test run" to get my feet wet.
Now that I am a little more "in the know" I am going at it hard this upcoming week.
I have also decided to incorporate some classes (new and old favorites) into my routine. On the line up: Pilates (<3), Kickboxing (I have taken a few classes before and it always kicks my butt!), Zumba (we will see how this one goes).
Along with classes, I want to mix up my cardio training with swimming, jumping rope, and playing tennis with my Husband, although, I am not sure how much "cardio" benefit I will get...I am not stellar at tennis, but it will be fun if nothing else.
Yesterday I prepared my meals for the next 7 days. It took a while, but I had a plan and stuck to it.
I made:
Chicken Salad*
Frittata Cups with Oatmeal*
Protein Pancakes*
Huevos Rancheros with Rice*
Shrimp Stir-fry*
Chili*
Shredded Chicken for Salads*
Tropical Coconut Shrimp Variation*
Chicken with Cauliflower. Onion, and Squash Medley
*Recipes will be posted on the RECIPES page.
On another note, my Husband and I are still determining what living frugal means to us and we are constantly re-evaluating our budget.
While we were talking the other day, he showed me this link on Budgets Are Sexy.
There are many posts on the site pertaining to budgets but the one he showed me was about grocery bills.
Normally, we budget $1000 a month for food. This includes grocery trips (to include toiletries, cleaning products, trash bags, laundry soap), coffee trips, and eating out.
Upon looking at this page we decided to slash our budget in this area and do an experiment.
Instead of $1000 a month, we have cut it down by 30% to $700 (which, is still well above what others spend. This gives us $150/week at the grocery store and $100/month for eating out.
We have our own personal spending allowances that we can use for coffees, lunch out during the work week, or whatever else, but the money allotted for groceries and OUR date dining is reserved for just that.
That saves us $300 a month which comes to $3600 a year! That is a lot!
So, I decided to start the experiment at the store yesterday.
Right now, I am cooking for myself, so I cut the $150 in half. That was my food budget for the week.
Before heading out to the store, I took a detailed inventory of what I currently had at the house. Building meals from that, I added items I needed to supplement. This helped my list stay small as I wasn't creating a menu where I needed to purchase every single ingredient.
Then, I was off to the store. I did not deviate from my list. I purchased only what was on it. My total was $56. There were 2 items I was unable to purchase on this trip, so that will add about another $7 to my overall grocery total, bringing it to $62.
When I left the store, I was hungry and would have to prepare my food once I got home. I hadn't had my cheat meal yet so I decided to go get some Indian food. My total balance there was $18; totaling $80.
My Husband thought it would be more like $100, but we were both pleased with $80.
Now my fridge is stocked for the next 7 days and I can come home after work or the gym and just pop it in the microwave. No fuss. No mess.
My plan is, because this food should last until next Saturday, I will most likely go shopping Friday after work and then come home and cook after the gym on Saturday morning.
So, that is my update for this week! I can't believe in just under 18 weeks, I will be up on that stage! Time to get cracking on my vision board!!!
And I am interested in knowing, what do you spend on average per week at the gro sto? What does this total include (food, pet food, toiletries, cleaning/household supplies)? How often do you eat out? Is this amount included in your overall food budget? How do you break this budget down?
I did pretty well, as my body is weak and recovering from a nasty flu strain.
I got in 4/6 days resistance training and 4/5 days cardio training. It is a new program for me and I am a little unfamiliar with it so I am using this first week to go through it, kind of like a "test run" to get my feet wet.
Now that I am a little more "in the know" I am going at it hard this upcoming week.
I have also decided to incorporate some classes (new and old favorites) into my routine. On the line up: Pilates (<3), Kickboxing (I have taken a few classes before and it always kicks my butt!), Zumba (we will see how this one goes).
Along with classes, I want to mix up my cardio training with swimming, jumping rope, and playing tennis with my Husband, although, I am not sure how much "cardio" benefit I will get...I am not stellar at tennis, but it will be fun if nothing else.
Yesterday I prepared my meals for the next 7 days. It took a while, but I had a plan and stuck to it.
I made:
Chicken Salad*
Frittata Cups with Oatmeal*
Protein Pancakes*
Huevos Rancheros with Rice*
Shrimp Stir-fry*
Chili*
Shredded Chicken for Salads*
Tropical Coconut Shrimp Variation*
Chicken with Cauliflower. Onion, and Squash Medley
*Recipes will be posted on the RECIPES page.
On another note, my Husband and I are still determining what living frugal means to us and we are constantly re-evaluating our budget.
While we were talking the other day, he showed me this link on Budgets Are Sexy.
There are many posts on the site pertaining to budgets but the one he showed me was about grocery bills.
Normally, we budget $1000 a month for food. This includes grocery trips (to include toiletries, cleaning products, trash bags, laundry soap), coffee trips, and eating out.
Upon looking at this page we decided to slash our budget in this area and do an experiment.
Instead of $1000 a month, we have cut it down by 30% to $700 (which, is still well above what others spend. This gives us $150/week at the grocery store and $100/month for eating out.
We have our own personal spending allowances that we can use for coffees, lunch out during the work week, or whatever else, but the money allotted for groceries and OUR date dining is reserved for just that.
That saves us $300 a month which comes to $3600 a year! That is a lot!
So, I decided to start the experiment at the store yesterday.
Right now, I am cooking for myself, so I cut the $150 in half. That was my food budget for the week.
Before heading out to the store, I took a detailed inventory of what I currently had at the house. Building meals from that, I added items I needed to supplement. This helped my list stay small as I wasn't creating a menu where I needed to purchase every single ingredient.
Then, I was off to the store. I did not deviate from my list. I purchased only what was on it. My total was $56. There were 2 items I was unable to purchase on this trip, so that will add about another $7 to my overall grocery total, bringing it to $62.
When I left the store, I was hungry and would have to prepare my food once I got home. I hadn't had my cheat meal yet so I decided to go get some Indian food. My total balance there was $18; totaling $80.
My Husband thought it would be more like $100, but we were both pleased with $80.
Now my fridge is stocked for the next 7 days and I can come home after work or the gym and just pop it in the microwave. No fuss. No mess.
 |
| Stocked up! Everything is pictured here except the chili and the chicken with the Cauliflower, Squash, and Onion Medley. |
 |
| No deviating this week! It is all about the planning and prep!! |
So, that is my update for this week! I can't believe in just under 18 weeks, I will be up on that stage! Time to get cracking on my vision board!!!
And I am interested in knowing, what do you spend on average per week at the gro sto? What does this total include (food, pet food, toiletries, cleaning/household supplies)? How often do you eat out? Is this amount included in your overall food budget? How do you break this budget down?
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Day 2...with the FLU
So, yep......I have the FLU!!!???!!!?!?!?!?!?!?
It seems like every single time I start a new training regimen I get sick. I have been feeling a little poppy since Saturday night and it has progressively gotten worse. This morning was AWFUL.
I went to the doctor and they told me to go home for the next 2 days and rest. That means no training.
However....
I can still eat clean and drink lots of water, so that is good.
Off to rest. I am exhausted....pretty much NO sleep last night. Ugh.
It seems like every single time I start a new training regimen I get sick. I have been feeling a little poppy since Saturday night and it has progressively gotten worse. This morning was AWFUL.
I went to the doctor and they told me to go home for the next 2 days and rest. That means no training.
However....
I can still eat clean and drink lots of water, so that is good.
Off to rest. I am exhausted....pretty much NO sleep last night. Ugh.
Monday, January 3, 2011
My JOURNEY to the Stage Week 1
So. Here we are. Hello 2011. I am getting ready to take you down!
As you may know, I have decided to compete in my first competition as a physique athlete on May 21, 2011. I have chosen the WBFF show in Kansas City, MO and am entering myself into the Diva Fitness Model Division.
Competing has been a goal of mine for the past 3 years. I have trained twice before only to be interrupted by a conflicting work schedule. This time, I am determined to get out on that stage and show off all my hard work, no matter what I have to do to work around work. I am doing this.
Today was the official start of my training.
Last night I prepped and cooked and packaged meals for the next few days (I will post my recipe for my protein pancakes...they are so good!) so I am all ready to go; clean food is at an arms reach when hunger calls every 2-3 hours.
I woke up this morning feeling like I am getting sick with a head cold. Right now, I still feel the same way.
However, I am going to try to work through it unless I start becoming congested; I definitely do not want to spread my sick germs all over the gym and kill people's newfound/renewed motivation to get in shape.
If anything, I can work out at home for a few days or if it gets bad enough, rest; as long as I keep my diet squeaky clean, I will be ok.
Today though, I had a great workout. I pushed myself and definitely exhausted my muscles. It. Felt. Great.
This evening I took my measurements for my suit. I am a little bigger now than I was in the spring, but nothing too crazy. About 1 inch in my waist, hips, and butt.
I also weigh 140, about 10 pounds heavier than when I got married in March. I cannot blame this on the first year and getting comfortable with each other.
First, we are plenty comfy with one another already.
Second, we have only spent 3 months of our 9 month marriage in the same place.
The culprit is stuffing my grocery hole with foods that I should enjoy only in moderation....not whenever I feel like indulging, which is the course I have been taking for the past couple months.
In order to help kickstart my recovery I have designated January as a sugar and alcohol free month. I have been imbibing and sweet-toothing it more than I should have. Moving on.
I am not going to stress over it or dwell on it. I did it. I am a little bigger. Get over it. Get on the horse and keep your eye on the prize (this is what I tell myself).
Are you impressed at all the cliché implementation?
I had a question about the size suit I should order since I will definitely be smaller in May (and way more defined!) so I am waiting to hear back from the designer. I am hoping to get it ordered this week.
In sum, today was a good day.
I ate clean. I got a solid workout in that left me breathing heavy and sweaty (on a chest day!), and I got some errands and tasks taken care of that have been looming over my head for a while.
For now, I am off to bed. Back to work tomorrow. This will be the first day to test working out during my lunch break, which is my plan for the next several months.
Also, I will most likely post once a week, probably on Thursday because that is when I do my check in with my coaches at Cathy Savage Fitness. At that time, I will post some pics too.
As you may know, I have decided to compete in my first competition as a physique athlete on May 21, 2011. I have chosen the WBFF show in Kansas City, MO and am entering myself into the Diva Fitness Model Division.
Competing has been a goal of mine for the past 3 years. I have trained twice before only to be interrupted by a conflicting work schedule. This time, I am determined to get out on that stage and show off all my hard work, no matter what I have to do to work around work. I am doing this.
Today was the official start of my training.
Last night I prepped and cooked and packaged meals for the next few days (I will post my recipe for my protein pancakes...they are so good!) so I am all ready to go; clean food is at an arms reach when hunger calls every 2-3 hours.
I woke up this morning feeling like I am getting sick with a head cold. Right now, I still feel the same way.
However, I am going to try to work through it unless I start becoming congested; I definitely do not want to spread my sick germs all over the gym and kill people's newfound/renewed motivation to get in shape.
If anything, I can work out at home for a few days or if it gets bad enough, rest; as long as I keep my diet squeaky clean, I will be ok.
Today though, I had a great workout. I pushed myself and definitely exhausted my muscles. It. Felt. Great.
This evening I took my measurements for my suit. I am a little bigger now than I was in the spring, but nothing too crazy. About 1 inch in my waist, hips, and butt.
I also weigh 140, about 10 pounds heavier than when I got married in March. I cannot blame this on the first year and getting comfortable with each other.
First, we are plenty comfy with one another already.
Second, we have only spent 3 months of our 9 month marriage in the same place.
The culprit is stuffing my grocery hole with foods that I should enjoy only in moderation....not whenever I feel like indulging, which is the course I have been taking for the past couple months.
In order to help kickstart my recovery I have designated January as a sugar and alcohol free month. I have been imbibing and sweet-toothing it more than I should have. Moving on.
I am not going to stress over it or dwell on it. I did it. I am a little bigger. Get over it. Get on the horse and keep your eye on the prize (this is what I tell myself).
Are you impressed at all the cliché implementation?
I had a question about the size suit I should order since I will definitely be smaller in May (and way more defined!) so I am waiting to hear back from the designer. I am hoping to get it ordered this week.
In sum, today was a good day.
I ate clean. I got a solid workout in that left me breathing heavy and sweaty (on a chest day!), and I got some errands and tasks taken care of that have been looming over my head for a while.
For now, I am off to bed. Back to work tomorrow. This will be the first day to test working out during my lunch break, which is my plan for the next several months.
Also, I will most likely post once a week, probably on Thursday because that is when I do my check in with my coaches at Cathy Savage Fitness. At that time, I will post some pics too.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
It is Christmastime!
So, here we are yet again....approaching that time of the year where holiday parties, food, drink, family, and friends abound. It is Christmastime.
I want to take a moment here to say a few things about this time of year. Stay with me as things might get a little messy, as I have a lot of mixed emotions about it.
As a kid, Christmas was always a stressful time for me. We were pretty much poor and couldn't afford much. We even had the Jaycee's (a charitable organization) bring gifts to the house on more than one year.
Half the time I spent the holidays at home with my Mom and the others with my Dad in another city from where I lived. My parents were divorced and I spent much of my childhood (right up until I hit adolescence) traipsing back and forth between parents' houses and schools and circles of friends; Christmas was no different.
At Mom's house, we focused more on the reason for the season and as a kid, I never really appreciated it. Instead, my young heart was envious of my friends' lavish gift displays set out by their parents; I wished I was them, that their parents were my parents.
At Dad's house, my brother and I would hit the jackpot! Keyboard, new clothes, jewelry...the catch was that I had to leave it all at Dad's house. This decision was made after the year that my Dad bought my brother and I a television set for Christmas and my mom took it back to the store to get the money. Instead of a TV, we got a large cardboard train that was big enough for us to get inside and "drive" through the garage.
So, all my cool Christmas loot was only mine part-time. I can remember feeling anxious going back to Mom's house after a Christmas at Dad's, feeling let down that I couldn't bring it home to enjoy.
Fast forward a few years and I was 14. I got a lot of gifts that year. I guess it made up for the poor quality of home life that was experienced the rest of the year. After that, Christmas kind of became one of those holidays that I just stopped caring about.
Sure, I still gave and received and had a wish list each year and even as an adult participated with an "I love the Christmas Season!" mask on and even participated in placing myself in financial distress. Honestly, it has made me uncomfortable for about half my life.
Now that I am older, looking back I see that it wasn't so much CHRISTMAS I opposed, but it was more the situations and feelings attached to it.
I still do not buy into the commercialism of the purpose for this day....although I do still give, this year it was a lot different for me.
I gave with a JOYFUL heart...because I wanted to, not because I felt like I should or I had to.
Let me take that back actually...it was not JUST this year. It has been the past couple years. I think that it has to do largely with the fact that I have found a safe and loving environment in which to celebrate this occasion and have begun to change the traditions of my past and create my own revised, updated, and modern ones.
I also think that over the past few years I have been fumbling with my relationship with the Lord. This year has been exceptionally difficult for me and my spirituality in many ways and on many levels. But, it has also brought me to a deeper understanding and feeling of closeness to Him; who He is, who I am to Him, and where I fit in this world.
Now, by no means am I claiming to have it all figured out. I would be a liar if I said I did. I am pretty sure no one does; not even the people who say they do or who you think does. What I am saying is that this year, as I am sure each year should be, has been a time of growth for me, both personally and spiritually.
I feel like I am settled in areas that I didn't even realize I wasn't settled in until I felt settled and there are still areas I need to find balance in. I feel as though I have changed in the inside, but for the better. I am able to give more openly, love more freely, and be happier with less. However, I still struggle in these areas on some levels as well. Like I said, I don't have it figured out...just a better understanding of myself BECAUSE I have learned to look to and rely on the Lord, my God.
Thinking back to my childhood, I can appreciate the fact that Mom tried to instill these things in me, even if I thought she was weird and grew up to stray far, far from the Lord; He was always in my belief system, I just didn't implement Him into my lifestyle.
Normally during the holiday season I get depressed, abuse food, gain weight, and begin the new year in self-loathe mode, even if I wear a smile and an extra ten pounds on the outside. It has been this way for as long as I can remember; I attributed this time of year to anxiety, stress, sadness, loneliness, and ultimately disappointment. I used to even go as far to say that I hated Christmas.
In my defense, I was speaking more of the greediness that goes along with the commercialism and the tizzy people would put themselves into to provide adequate gifts for the people in their lives, while going so far into debt they started out their new year not much different that I began mine.
The past two years have been different though.
I will admit that this is the first year I have even purchased a live tree and put it up in my house. This is the first year that I have gone to a store and purchased actual ornaments to go on the tree, to include multiple strands of lights. I will also admit that the thrill of decorating a beautiful tree (which it is) any way I chose (which I did) quickly faded into feelings of depression and loneliness as I sat alone in my house, the only one to see it.
I debated about getting one at all.
I am here without my Husband and the rest of my family.
I am, however, surrounded by a group of amazingly wonderful and strong women who are special to me. We have decided to spend the holiday together, making our own tradition, even if it lasts for only this season.
That is really the only reason I even put a tree up.
After a few days of coming home and seeing it, my sad thoughts began to dissipate and was replaced with anticipation of my friends' reactions when they see it lit up on Christmas Day. We are celebrating at my house (I absolutely love to entertain) with a delicious and healthy meal, time around the tree opening gifts, and spending some quality time together.
That is when I realized that the way I felt about Christmas and what I say about how I feel about Christmas is not actually how I feel about Christmas.
I still do not agree with the frantic commercialism.
I do, however, think that finding a special something for someone you love is a joyous moment; spotting something that they will really appreciate or that will make their life a little easier or more enjoyable...that is what I feel Christmas should be about.
If you think about it, it is not much different that what God did by giving us Jesus.
He gave us a gift that would bring joy to our lives upon our acceptance of it; He knew we would enjoy and benefit from this gift. It was chosen carefully, purposefully and was fully intended for our use. It was unwrapped as a surprise. He knew that by knowing Jesus Christ, our lives would become enriched, have deeper meaning, and become more fulfilling.
So, giving is one thing. Commercialism is a total other thing. But what it really comes down to is Jesus really IS the reason for the season.....maybe we should focus more on that and the fellowship with those around us. Enjoy the time with one another, relish it, savor it, imprint it in your mind, make memories from it. But please, do not lose sight of what this holiday is really about.
Now that I can see where the ill feelings stem from, it is easy for me to dismiss them and make room for new feelings with a much more positive vibe.
When the day comes and I have my own family, I definitely want Jesus to be the main focal point of this holiday instead of Santa.
I want my children growing up to understand the love God has for them; that He proved it by giving us his Son, Jesus. I want my children to understand the magnitude of that. I want them to want to give MORE than they want to receive. I want them to know the joy of seeing another's joy. I want my children to love Christmas.
I think I can finally say that I do....and not for the gifts or even the time with friends, but for the sheer fact that I know if He had never been born, His life would have never been given up to save mine. What a sad, lonely, and disappointing life it would have been then!
Who could dislike Christmas when it is looked at from that perspective??
I want to take a moment here to say a few things about this time of year. Stay with me as things might get a little messy, as I have a lot of mixed emotions about it.
As a kid, Christmas was always a stressful time for me. We were pretty much poor and couldn't afford much. We even had the Jaycee's (a charitable organization) bring gifts to the house on more than one year.
Half the time I spent the holidays at home with my Mom and the others with my Dad in another city from where I lived. My parents were divorced and I spent much of my childhood (right up until I hit adolescence) traipsing back and forth between parents' houses and schools and circles of friends; Christmas was no different.
At Mom's house, we focused more on the reason for the season and as a kid, I never really appreciated it. Instead, my young heart was envious of my friends' lavish gift displays set out by their parents; I wished I was them, that their parents were my parents.
At Dad's house, my brother and I would hit the jackpot! Keyboard, new clothes, jewelry...the catch was that I had to leave it all at Dad's house. This decision was made after the year that my Dad bought my brother and I a television set for Christmas and my mom took it back to the store to get the money. Instead of a TV, we got a large cardboard train that was big enough for us to get inside and "drive" through the garage.
So, all my cool Christmas loot was only mine part-time. I can remember feeling anxious going back to Mom's house after a Christmas at Dad's, feeling let down that I couldn't bring it home to enjoy.
Fast forward a few years and I was 14. I got a lot of gifts that year. I guess it made up for the poor quality of home life that was experienced the rest of the year. After that, Christmas kind of became one of those holidays that I just stopped caring about.
Sure, I still gave and received and had a wish list each year and even as an adult participated with an "I love the Christmas Season!" mask on and even participated in placing myself in financial distress. Honestly, it has made me uncomfortable for about half my life.
Now that I am older, looking back I see that it wasn't so much CHRISTMAS I opposed, but it was more the situations and feelings attached to it.
I still do not buy into the commercialism of the purpose for this day....although I do still give, this year it was a lot different for me.
I gave with a JOYFUL heart...because I wanted to, not because I felt like I should or I had to.
Let me take that back actually...it was not JUST this year. It has been the past couple years. I think that it has to do largely with the fact that I have found a safe and loving environment in which to celebrate this occasion and have begun to change the traditions of my past and create my own revised, updated, and modern ones.
I also think that over the past few years I have been fumbling with my relationship with the Lord. This year has been exceptionally difficult for me and my spirituality in many ways and on many levels. But, it has also brought me to a deeper understanding and feeling of closeness to Him; who He is, who I am to Him, and where I fit in this world.
Now, by no means am I claiming to have it all figured out. I would be a liar if I said I did. I am pretty sure no one does; not even the people who say they do or who you think does. What I am saying is that this year, as I am sure each year should be, has been a time of growth for me, both personally and spiritually.
I feel like I am settled in areas that I didn't even realize I wasn't settled in until I felt settled and there are still areas I need to find balance in. I feel as though I have changed in the inside, but for the better. I am able to give more openly, love more freely, and be happier with less. However, I still struggle in these areas on some levels as well. Like I said, I don't have it figured out...just a better understanding of myself BECAUSE I have learned to look to and rely on the Lord, my God.
Thinking back to my childhood, I can appreciate the fact that Mom tried to instill these things in me, even if I thought she was weird and grew up to stray far, far from the Lord; He was always in my belief system, I just didn't implement Him into my lifestyle.
Normally during the holiday season I get depressed, abuse food, gain weight, and begin the new year in self-loathe mode, even if I wear a smile and an extra ten pounds on the outside. It has been this way for as long as I can remember; I attributed this time of year to anxiety, stress, sadness, loneliness, and ultimately disappointment. I used to even go as far to say that I hated Christmas.
In my defense, I was speaking more of the greediness that goes along with the commercialism and the tizzy people would put themselves into to provide adequate gifts for the people in their lives, while going so far into debt they started out their new year not much different that I began mine.
The past two years have been different though.
I will admit that this is the first year I have even purchased a live tree and put it up in my house. This is the first year that I have gone to a store and purchased actual ornaments to go on the tree, to include multiple strands of lights. I will also admit that the thrill of decorating a beautiful tree (which it is) any way I chose (which I did) quickly faded into feelings of depression and loneliness as I sat alone in my house, the only one to see it.
I debated about getting one at all.
I am here without my Husband and the rest of my family.
I am, however, surrounded by a group of amazingly wonderful and strong women who are special to me. We have decided to spend the holiday together, making our own tradition, even if it lasts for only this season.
That is really the only reason I even put a tree up.
After a few days of coming home and seeing it, my sad thoughts began to dissipate and was replaced with anticipation of my friends' reactions when they see it lit up on Christmas Day. We are celebrating at my house (I absolutely love to entertain) with a delicious and healthy meal, time around the tree opening gifts, and spending some quality time together.
That is when I realized that the way I felt about Christmas and what I say about how I feel about Christmas is not actually how I feel about Christmas.
I still do not agree with the frantic commercialism.
I do, however, think that finding a special something for someone you love is a joyous moment; spotting something that they will really appreciate or that will make their life a little easier or more enjoyable...that is what I feel Christmas should be about.
If you think about it, it is not much different that what God did by giving us Jesus.
He gave us a gift that would bring joy to our lives upon our acceptance of it; He knew we would enjoy and benefit from this gift. It was chosen carefully, purposefully and was fully intended for our use. It was unwrapped as a surprise. He knew that by knowing Jesus Christ, our lives would become enriched, have deeper meaning, and become more fulfilling.
So, giving is one thing. Commercialism is a total other thing. But what it really comes down to is Jesus really IS the reason for the season.....maybe we should focus more on that and the fellowship with those around us. Enjoy the time with one another, relish it, savor it, imprint it in your mind, make memories from it. But please, do not lose sight of what this holiday is really about.
Now that I can see where the ill feelings stem from, it is easy for me to dismiss them and make room for new feelings with a much more positive vibe.
When the day comes and I have my own family, I definitely want Jesus to be the main focal point of this holiday instead of Santa.
I want my children growing up to understand the love God has for them; that He proved it by giving us his Son, Jesus. I want my children to understand the magnitude of that. I want them to want to give MORE than they want to receive. I want them to know the joy of seeing another's joy. I want my children to love Christmas.
I think I can finally say that I do....and not for the gifts or even the time with friends, but for the sheer fact that I know if He had never been born, His life would have never been given up to save mine. What a sad, lonely, and disappointing life it would have been then!
Who could dislike Christmas when it is looked at from that perspective??
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Gasping for Air
I feel like I cannot catch my breath....I have been going a million miles a minute and feel like I have had ZERO time to relax in the last 2 weeks. Even when I am out with friends, obligations and tasks are lurking in the back of my mind.
I am working and doing things right up until the time I go to bed. I should actually be there now, but I wanted to take a second and just get this off my chest; maybe I will feel better.
Work has been INSANE and we have been very busy...we have also had a lot of long days, leaving very little tile for much else during the week, even though that time is needed to balance my life.
For the past few months I have found it incredibly difficult to get into a groove. I feel all over the place. I feel spread too thin. I feel scattered. I feel unraveled. I feel exhausted.
This week I am really going to focus on taking some time out for myself each day, even if it is 15 minutes to just be still. I also am going to be better prepared this week so I can make it to the gym and eat clean. I did pretty well last week, up until Thursday and then it was downhill from there. I redeemed myself today and am prepped and ready to go for tomorrow.
This week will be a good week. It is the last week of full day schedule at work and next week we go to half days through the holidays, which will allow me some time to find my groove again.
Coming back into country after being gone for 5 months and having to get things back in order is hard when I have no time to do it. But, I am doing what I can when I can and I have gotten a lot accomplished; it has just been at the expense of time to do things I need to do for ME.
Tomorrow is a new day.
I am working and doing things right up until the time I go to bed. I should actually be there now, but I wanted to take a second and just get this off my chest; maybe I will feel better.
Work has been INSANE and we have been very busy...we have also had a lot of long days, leaving very little tile for much else during the week, even though that time is needed to balance my life.
For the past few months I have found it incredibly difficult to get into a groove. I feel all over the place. I feel spread too thin. I feel scattered. I feel unraveled. I feel exhausted.
This week I am really going to focus on taking some time out for myself each day, even if it is 15 minutes to just be still. I also am going to be better prepared this week so I can make it to the gym and eat clean. I did pretty well last week, up until Thursday and then it was downhill from there. I redeemed myself today and am prepped and ready to go for tomorrow.
This week will be a good week. It is the last week of full day schedule at work and next week we go to half days through the holidays, which will allow me some time to find my groove again.
Coming back into country after being gone for 5 months and having to get things back in order is hard when I have no time to do it. But, I am doing what I can when I can and I have gotten a lot accomplished; it has just been at the expense of time to do things I need to do for ME.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I have been MIA....
It has been a loooong time since I last posted.
I kinda lost my motivation to stick with ANYTHING the past two months. But, I am back and better than ever. I think I needed to go through some stuff, gain some clarity about myself and my life, and gently place myself back on the wagon.
Let me assure you, I am on it.
So, there have been several changes in my life over the past couple months.
I started eating grains.
I started eating dairy.
I realized that I think I may have a sensitivity to gluten and dairy (in some forms).
I stopped doing CrossFit.
I started back in the regular gym, lifting and doing cardio as I embark on a journey to reaching one of my long time goals of competing in a figure competition (April 16, 2011).
I am about to go home to a house I share with my Husband, but I won't be sharing it with him for several more months.
I have started studying the Word more often.
I am sure there are more things, but that is a pretty hefty list as it is. And not all of them are bad!
Nonetheless.......
I allowed all this change to (once again) consume me and instead of taking it on and prioritizing it, I tried to eat it all in one bite....needless to say, I CHOKED!
But, now, with a clearer head a my priorities in order, I am ready. I am PREPARED. I am EXCITED! And I am keeping my eye on the PRIZE!
My attitude changed when I realized why I was doing certain things. I was doing them for SELFISH reasons and that is why, I believe, I was failing at them.
When I realized why I SHOULD be doing them, things became clearer...easier to see, easier to handle, easier to get my head around.
Honestly, I have come to realize that I want to be the healthiest I can be not so I can look "hot" or get attention, or have an ego about my physique or overall look...I want to be the healthiest I can be so I can do the Lord's work. Whatever that may be....whatever He has planned for my life. I want to be able to carry it out in a way that is pleasing to Him. And in order to do that, I NEED TO BE HEALTHY, alert, and ready!
I hope to use becoming a physique athlete as a platform to do that; I hope to help others through it, however I can. It falls in line with what I WANT....I have a feeling that paying more attention to what God wants for me will get me farther. I pray this is what He wants but if it is not, I am hedging my bets on His way over mine. So we will see. Until then, I will continue to pray for guidance and press forward.
So, this post is really an re-introduction.
I will be posting much more often than I have been.
I will post about my journey to the stage. I am about 19 weeks and 4 days out from my very first show where I plan to do bikini and crossover into figure.
I will post about my accomplishments and my struggles and some pictures along the way too.
I have an incredible support system and amazing coaches at cathysavagefitness.com. She is an industry leader and continually produces success! I also have a couple friends I am training with who are Savage Girls....which I will also become January 1, 2011 when I officially begin my competition prep.
Right now, I am on another plan (I am using it as a preliminary primer, as I have been out of the regular gym for almost one year now) and and taking December ON!
I am dedicating the next 4 weeks to eating clean and NO SUGAR!!!! I don't use sugar and sweeteners anyway, so I don't think it will be so tough for me...I kind of have an advantage.
Well, just so you know what I did today (no specifics....you have to pay CSF for that!):
300m sprints coupled with 300m jogging/walking x30 minutes.
WHEW!!!!! I wanted to...and almost did....quit SO BAD at 15 minutes. But I told myself:
"No. You are half-way done. You are finishing this. You can DO THIS! Now RUN! FAST!"
Then, I did my workout on my rooftop terrace while taking in the breathtaking sunset over the city and being energized by the generous breeze. It was BEAUTIFUL this evening! It was like God's little gift for me doing such a good job on sprints!
I kinda lost my motivation to stick with ANYTHING the past two months. But, I am back and better than ever. I think I needed to go through some stuff, gain some clarity about myself and my life, and gently place myself back on the wagon.
Let me assure you, I am on it.
So, there have been several changes in my life over the past couple months.
I started eating grains.
I started eating dairy.
I realized that I think I may have a sensitivity to gluten and dairy (in some forms).
I stopped doing CrossFit.
I started back in the regular gym, lifting and doing cardio as I embark on a journey to reaching one of my long time goals of competing in a figure competition (April 16, 2011).
I am about to go home to a house I share with my Husband, but I won't be sharing it with him for several more months.
I have started studying the Word more often.
I am sure there are more things, but that is a pretty hefty list as it is. And not all of them are bad!
Nonetheless.......
I allowed all this change to (once again) consume me and instead of taking it on and prioritizing it, I tried to eat it all in one bite....needless to say, I CHOKED!
But, now, with a clearer head a my priorities in order, I am ready. I am PREPARED. I am EXCITED! And I am keeping my eye on the PRIZE!
My attitude changed when I realized why I was doing certain things. I was doing them for SELFISH reasons and that is why, I believe, I was failing at them.
When I realized why I SHOULD be doing them, things became clearer...easier to see, easier to handle, easier to get my head around.
Honestly, I have come to realize that I want to be the healthiest I can be not so I can look "hot" or get attention, or have an ego about my physique or overall look...I want to be the healthiest I can be so I can do the Lord's work. Whatever that may be....whatever He has planned for my life. I want to be able to carry it out in a way that is pleasing to Him. And in order to do that, I NEED TO BE HEALTHY, alert, and ready!
I hope to use becoming a physique athlete as a platform to do that; I hope to help others through it, however I can. It falls in line with what I WANT....I have a feeling that paying more attention to what God wants for me will get me farther. I pray this is what He wants but if it is not, I am hedging my bets on His way over mine. So we will see. Until then, I will continue to pray for guidance and press forward.
So, this post is really an re-introduction.
I will be posting much more often than I have been.
I will post about my journey to the stage. I am about 19 weeks and 4 days out from my very first show where I plan to do bikini and crossover into figure.
I will post about my accomplishments and my struggles and some pictures along the way too.
I have an incredible support system and amazing coaches at cathysavagefitness.com. She is an industry leader and continually produces success! I also have a couple friends I am training with who are Savage Girls....which I will also become January 1, 2011 when I officially begin my competition prep.
Right now, I am on another plan (I am using it as a preliminary primer, as I have been out of the regular gym for almost one year now) and and taking December ON!
I am dedicating the next 4 weeks to eating clean and NO SUGAR!!!! I don't use sugar and sweeteners anyway, so I don't think it will be so tough for me...I kind of have an advantage.
Well, just so you know what I did today (no specifics....you have to pay CSF for that!):
300m sprints coupled with 300m jogging/walking x30 minutes.
WHEW!!!!! I wanted to...and almost did....quit SO BAD at 15 minutes. But I told myself:
"No. You are half-way done. You are finishing this. You can DO THIS! Now RUN! FAST!"
Then, I did my workout on my rooftop terrace while taking in the breathtaking sunset over the city and being energized by the generous breeze. It was BEAUTIFUL this evening! It was like God's little gift for me doing such a good job on sprints!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Leaky Wallet
October has been a rough month for me.
I know it is only the 13th, but so far it has been tumultuous.
I have extended past my spending boundaries and I feel pretty bad about it.
Looking at the account today I realized I am going to have about $500 less in the account come the 15th than I thought I would.
We have still saved a great deal of money this month but it could have been an even greater amount.
I have eaten out WAY more than I usually do and that is one of the things I feel the worst about. Money just thrown away in restaurants consuming food that does not make me any healthier.
What I splurged on wasn't all bad. I purchased my first ever real winter coat and a few pairs of boots and a couple leather jackets (all the boots and leather jackets were second hand; I found them all at Etsy at a great price).
I am a Florida Native and have still not learned how to dress myself appropriately for North Carolina winters. It snows and I normally freeze.
I decided to spend on some good quality timeless pieces that will last a long time and that is what I did. But I still feel really guilty.
It wasn't impulse necessarily and they are needed items. But I probably could have gotten away with buying less. Ugh.
What is it with me? I deal with stress with overindulgence be it with retail therapy or food. I have GOT to get a handle on this and learn some new coping methods. Every time I do this, I find a way to justify my actions in my head and then feel an immense amount of guilt afterward and ultimately end up feeling angry with myself which only perpetuates the lack my ability to cope.
Sometimes I feel like I am so on top of things and other times, I feel like a complete flake.
I know it is only the 13th, but so far it has been tumultuous.
I have extended past my spending boundaries and I feel pretty bad about it.
Looking at the account today I realized I am going to have about $500 less in the account come the 15th than I thought I would.
We have still saved a great deal of money this month but it could have been an even greater amount.
I have eaten out WAY more than I usually do and that is one of the things I feel the worst about. Money just thrown away in restaurants consuming food that does not make me any healthier.
What I splurged on wasn't all bad. I purchased my first ever real winter coat and a few pairs of boots and a couple leather jackets (all the boots and leather jackets were second hand; I found them all at Etsy at a great price).
I am a Florida Native and have still not learned how to dress myself appropriately for North Carolina winters. It snows and I normally freeze.
I decided to spend on some good quality timeless pieces that will last a long time and that is what I did. But I still feel really guilty.
It wasn't impulse necessarily and they are needed items. But I probably could have gotten away with buying less. Ugh.
What is it with me? I deal with stress with overindulgence be it with retail therapy or food. I have GOT to get a handle on this and learn some new coping methods. Every time I do this, I find a way to justify my actions in my head and then feel an immense amount of guilt afterward and ultimately end up feeling angry with myself which only perpetuates the lack my ability to cope.
Sometimes I feel like I am so on top of things and other times, I feel like a complete flake.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The First Day Back
OK.
So, yesterday was my first day back. I was actually mindful of my nutrition. I was able to eat healthy portions that were right for my body size and I felt satisfied for several hours afterward. It felt good to eat clean and healthy food again.
Then, I went to the gym.
Wow.
I am out of shape, my friends. I felt sluggish and slow and flabby and weak.
I know within a couple weeks I will be feeling more energetic, faster, leaner, and stronger.
But this first day back was tough.
This was my WOD:
400m Run, 21 Thrusters (55#), 21 KB Swings (25#), 21 Knees to Elbows (Modified with rings); 800m run, 15 Thrusters, 15 KB Swings, 15 Knees to Elbows; 400m Run, 9 Thrusters, 9 KB Swings, 9 Knees to Elbows.
My time was 23:30.
I have GOT to get back to running...my cardio endurance is in the toilet.
I have decided to be gentle with myself and listen to my body. I do not want to do too much too soon but at the same time, I don't want to confuse my mind saying "I don't wanna!" with my body's urge to take it easy or rest.
I am going to CF again today and taking a rest tomorrow.
On the rest day from CF, I will most likely go for a little run and then do some ab work or something afterward.
I am already a little sore from last night, which is odd because it normally takes me a good 2 days to really feel the effects, but then again, I haven't really worked out in a while.
I took the advice that Melissa gave herself over at The Clothes Make the Girl.
During the month of October, after a 3 week vaca in Prague, she was attacking CF and working out like it was her first time. She wasn't comparing times, weight, PR's.....none of that. It was a clean start, a fresh slate.
I am adopting that same attitude. I am just going to go in there, be as focused as I can be and do my best.
I will repeat...
I know within a couple weeks I will be feeling more energetic, faster, leaner, and stronger.
So, yesterday was my first day back. I was actually mindful of my nutrition. I was able to eat healthy portions that were right for my body size and I felt satisfied for several hours afterward. It felt good to eat clean and healthy food again.
Then, I went to the gym.
Wow.
I am out of shape, my friends. I felt sluggish and slow and flabby and weak.
I know within a couple weeks I will be feeling more energetic, faster, leaner, and stronger.
But this first day back was tough.
This was my WOD:
400m Run, 21 Thrusters (55#), 21 KB Swings (25#), 21 Knees to Elbows (Modified with rings); 800m run, 15 Thrusters, 15 KB Swings, 15 Knees to Elbows; 400m Run, 9 Thrusters, 9 KB Swings, 9 Knees to Elbows.
My time was 23:30.
I have GOT to get back to running...my cardio endurance is in the toilet.
I have decided to be gentle with myself and listen to my body. I do not want to do too much too soon but at the same time, I don't want to confuse my mind saying "I don't wanna!" with my body's urge to take it easy or rest.
I am going to CF again today and taking a rest tomorrow.
On the rest day from CF, I will most likely go for a little run and then do some ab work or something afterward.
I am already a little sore from last night, which is odd because it normally takes me a good 2 days to really feel the effects, but then again, I haven't really worked out in a while.
I took the advice that Melissa gave herself over at The Clothes Make the Girl.
During the month of October, after a 3 week vaca in Prague, she was attacking CF and working out like it was her first time. She wasn't comparing times, weight, PR's.....none of that. It was a clean start, a fresh slate.
I am adopting that same attitude. I am just going to go in there, be as focused as I can be and do my best.
I will repeat...
I know within a couple weeks I will be feeling more energetic, faster, leaner, and stronger.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Fragility = Vulnerability
Self esteem is a fragile thing sometimes.
Normally, I really like myself and find myself to be attractive.
I normally think I am photogenic, have a nice smile, and pretty eyes.
It is amazing how much other physical elements can affect the way a person looks and even how they carry themselves.
Too thin of eyebrows, a weird colored shirt that clashes or washes out a person's face, bad make up application....but honestly the thing I think changes a person's appearance the most is their hair.
It could be the color, the style, but ultimately I think the cut is most dramatic.
It can either be the best or the worst accessory.
Recently I got a bad cut that was fixed only by lopping off my locks that I have been growing out for over a year; the cut I achieved by sticking it out through the weird phases, and that finally got where I was happy with it and loved the way it made me look.
I felt ultra feminine, very pretty, and was pleased that even when I would throw it up in a messy bun and headband that it still looked pretty darn cute.
Now, that is all over.
Now, don't get me wrong. I have been a short haired girl for most of my life.
I can rock the short 'do. But I really am not liking how I look right now.
I feel frumpy, masculine, and pretty unattractive. I feel like it makes me look heavier, my face rounder, and a lot less soft and sweet.
Maybe it is my attitude that makes me feel like I look hard, maybe the resentment is permeating my posture.
I mean, it is silly really. I don't know how many times I have written about this experience, be it on my FB wall, here, or mentioning it on other blogs or forums. I don't know what it is affecting me in such a dramatic way.
It is just hair. It will grow back.
But that logic doesn't soothe me. At all.
It is going to take a good long while for that to happen, for it to reach the point it was. I literally spent an hour tonight, perusing my photo library, looking back at pictures of me with longer hair.
It made me really sad.
I look like a completely different person.
I am just hoping in the next few weeks that it gets a bit longer where my bangs are at least a little longer and the sides are a little longer to give the appearance of length in the front and around my face.
Today, a friend was taking pictures of me, something I normally enjoy, but today.....I felt ugly and it came through in the photos; I looked like an 11 year old boy.
To mask how I really feel, I make funny faces or do stupid poses. I just feel insecure right now and I don't like it.
I wouldn't consider myself to be vain necessarily, but maybe this is a lesson about vanity in some way.
I don't know.
I do believe that there is a lesson in everything though so I want to try to find the lesson in this situation.
It might not be something as deep as looking at vanity in a different light....
The lesson might actually be to reschedule the appointment if you can see your stylist trying to juggle 2 clients at the same time in a slammed salon on a Saturday afternoon; to not show your stylist pictures and allow them to work with what you have to best suit your face; to be sure you have a mutual understanding of what you want and what you will be getting before you place yourself under the mercy of their flitting scissors watching chunks of your hair tumble to the ground....
Thankfully, the guy who fixed my hair did a great job so that all the tiny layers are the same length; at least it won't grow out to be a complete disaster.
I am hoping in 3 months that it is long enough for this post to look silly in contrast.
I have never been so upset over hair before...but it has seriously made me feel......gross. I cant explain it other than I feel stripped of my femininity almost.
I know that is totally irrational. But this has been a super traumatic experience for me that I can't seem to shake. I know that feeding my head thoughts of feeling gross and unfeminine and unattractive is not right and the more I think it the more I will convince myself that it is true.
I am frustrated, I am not going to lie. I am disappointed. I will get over it and my hair will grow, right back with my repaired self esteem.......and just like my hair, it might take a little while but everything will be ok.
Normally, I really like myself and find myself to be attractive.
I normally think I am photogenic, have a nice smile, and pretty eyes.
It is amazing how much other physical elements can affect the way a person looks and even how they carry themselves.
Too thin of eyebrows, a weird colored shirt that clashes or washes out a person's face, bad make up application....but honestly the thing I think changes a person's appearance the most is their hair.
It could be the color, the style, but ultimately I think the cut is most dramatic.
It can either be the best or the worst accessory.
Recently I got a bad cut that was fixed only by lopping off my locks that I have been growing out for over a year; the cut I achieved by sticking it out through the weird phases, and that finally got where I was happy with it and loved the way it made me look.
I felt ultra feminine, very pretty, and was pleased that even when I would throw it up in a messy bun and headband that it still looked pretty darn cute.
Now, that is all over.
Now, don't get me wrong. I have been a short haired girl for most of my life.
I can rock the short 'do. But I really am not liking how I look right now.
I feel frumpy, masculine, and pretty unattractive. I feel like it makes me look heavier, my face rounder, and a lot less soft and sweet.
Maybe it is my attitude that makes me feel like I look hard, maybe the resentment is permeating my posture.
I mean, it is silly really. I don't know how many times I have written about this experience, be it on my FB wall, here, or mentioning it on other blogs or forums. I don't know what it is affecting me in such a dramatic way.
It is just hair. It will grow back.
But that logic doesn't soothe me. At all.
It is going to take a good long while for that to happen, for it to reach the point it was. I literally spent an hour tonight, perusing my photo library, looking back at pictures of me with longer hair.
It made me really sad.
I look like a completely different person.
I am just hoping in the next few weeks that it gets a bit longer where my bangs are at least a little longer and the sides are a little longer to give the appearance of length in the front and around my face.
Today, a friend was taking pictures of me, something I normally enjoy, but today.....I felt ugly and it came through in the photos; I looked like an 11 year old boy.
To mask how I really feel, I make funny faces or do stupid poses. I just feel insecure right now and I don't like it.
I wouldn't consider myself to be vain necessarily, but maybe this is a lesson about vanity in some way.
I don't know.
I do believe that there is a lesson in everything though so I want to try to find the lesson in this situation.
It might not be something as deep as looking at vanity in a different light....
The lesson might actually be to reschedule the appointment if you can see your stylist trying to juggle 2 clients at the same time in a slammed salon on a Saturday afternoon; to not show your stylist pictures and allow them to work with what you have to best suit your face; to be sure you have a mutual understanding of what you want and what you will be getting before you place yourself under the mercy of their flitting scissors watching chunks of your hair tumble to the ground....
Thankfully, the guy who fixed my hair did a great job so that all the tiny layers are the same length; at least it won't grow out to be a complete disaster.
I am hoping in 3 months that it is long enough for this post to look silly in contrast.
I have never been so upset over hair before...but it has seriously made me feel......gross. I cant explain it other than I feel stripped of my femininity almost.
I know that is totally irrational. But this has been a super traumatic experience for me that I can't seem to shake. I know that feeding my head thoughts of feeling gross and unfeminine and unattractive is not right and the more I think it the more I will convince myself that it is true.
I am frustrated, I am not going to lie. I am disappointed. I will get over it and my hair will grow, right back with my repaired self esteem.......and just like my hair, it might take a little while but everything will be ok.
Friday, October 8, 2010
14 Days...
It has been a crazy 2 weeks.
I, in my crazy wisdom, decided that some good old fashioned self destruction was in order.
My diet.....pfft!
Exercise? It is a faint memory in the recesses of my mind.
I have been a complete mess, a train wreck...but this train is finally pulling back into the station.
This all started when I wrapped up my W30 and decided to start (responsibly) adding things back into my diet.
Then I went berserk.
THEN, last Saturday I went and got a haircut. Up until that afternoon, I had been so looking forward to getting a great cut by my dramatic stylist at the Holistic Salon. The spa was busy, he was in a hurry, I showed him a picture and told him to give me the same thing as last time except with shorter bangs.
When I was done, I wanted to cry. It looked AWFUL. It was weird and stringy and mullet-like, a hair helmet (hairmet was the term Husband came up with) and NOTHING at all like what I wanted, had ever had before, or even close to what I asked for.
I high tailed it out of there before I broke into tears and took myself to a small restaurant where I gorged myself on an entree, bread, dessert, and cafe con leche. I then proceeded to walk (this is where some of my exercise comes in) to Dunkin Donuts where I then purchased a muffin, 2 donuts, and another cafe con leche. And then I ate it. All. of. it.
I did it knowing full well that what I was doing was unhealthy and I didn't care. I was punishing myself. For what? I don't know. It wasn't like I cut my own hair (although it looked as though I did, blindfolded and with a machete) but I felt so angry and ugly that I wanted to further punctuate that feeling by abusing food and being cruel to myself, because after all, I deserved it.
So dumb.
And the worst thing is...I knew it was dumb and irrational the entire time I was doing it!
Crazy. I know.
Today I finally had it. I put my foot down and said, "Kara, enough is enough! You do not deserve this type of treatment! You deserve love and respect! You deserve to feel healthy and good! God gave you ONE body...why the abuse? Do you not appreciate what you have?"
I also came across something today on a blog I was reading today that hit me like a ton of bricks.
See, lately I have been dealing with some stuff (as I am sure we all have) and seem to have lost perspective. I have been desperately searching for it and while doing so have come slightly unraveled, overwhelmed, and feel like I am spinning out of control (hence the over eating). Much of it stems from being angry.
Now, I know what the bible says about anger and that love is slow to anger and that an angry person is a foolish one but reading this excerpt made me realize that the motivation behind my recent actions were so anger based.
This is what got me:
"Should anybody buy into this silly notion that anger is sometimes or often necessary?
Do you not understand that anger is almost always an emotion for people who wish to
control others while simultaneously failing to control themselves?......"
Let me break this down as to why it hit me the way it did (Man, God does truly work in mysterious ways and it is amazing to me how He uses different methods of getting the point across!)
I have been searching lately....searching for an answer to my woes not even fully comprehending what my woes are. I was searching in the dark basically.
I have had an incredulous attitude, have been completely unmotivated to see the positive side of anything, and I have been sure to voice my complaints loud and proud, to anyone that would listen, whether they wanted to or not. I can almost guarantee it was the latter.
Thankfully, I have a wonderful Husband who I can confide in and he always gives me loving (and very logical and honest) advice; he has played a huge role in gaining perspective.
Luckily, I also have good friends around me that don't get too hung up on my moodiness and know me for me and love me regardless. I will say, however, that I was unfairly taking advantage of that leeway and was totally abusing that boundary. For that I did apologize and I feel really bad about it but all I can do is look ahead and not allow a repeat offense in the future.
So, this morning as I was reading another blog post on this man's site, I perused older posts and found one that was called You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.
It really had nothing to do with this post necessarily, but that one blurb really was exactly what I needed to read.
It spoke to my heart. A little off the subjst for a moment, I think everyone should read this post, whether you have kids or not...If you are even considering having a child, please take a few minutes and read this post.
It brought me back to my childhood.
But it helped me realize that I was in fact acting out of anger.
There are situations in my life and people that determine those situations and their outcomes that I have absolutely no say or control over; I just have to abide by the decisions and live them out. Lately it has been a lot for me to deal with (and in all honesty it made me mad). That is just about the time the spiral started.
Then other situations or circumstances in my life felt out of control and then my haircut happened which as silly as it may sound only compounded the other feelings of anger I had been repressing and it was also a pretty traumatic experience for me.
I was angry!
I was angry that I could not control these circumstances and situations and I really was unable to control myself on certain levels. I allowed myself to swirl down the spiral of despair and had blinders on to all the good around me; all I chose to focus on was the negative, the bad, whatever was against what I wanted.
I had to remind myself yesterday that the world did not revolve around me and my wants and needs.
But today, I decided that it was time for a new attitude. It was time for a change.
I don't want to live an angry life as an angry person.
I have so much to be thankful for and to be happy about.
Sometimes I allow myself to get wrapped up in material things and overlook the priceless things. Sometimes I get my priorities out of order. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and a little out of control.
I am bound to make mistakes and get angry from time to time, but I really hope that this new perspective helps me handle things a lot differently the next time I am faced with something that is out of my control.
It is much like the Serenity Prayer...
" God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot
change; courage to change the things I can; and the
wisdom to know the difference."
I, in my crazy wisdom, decided that some good old fashioned self destruction was in order.
My diet.....pfft!
Exercise? It is a faint memory in the recesses of my mind.
I have been a complete mess, a train wreck...but this train is finally pulling back into the station.
This all started when I wrapped up my W30 and decided to start (responsibly) adding things back into my diet.
Then I went berserk.
THEN, last Saturday I went and got a haircut. Up until that afternoon, I had been so looking forward to getting a great cut by my dramatic stylist at the Holistic Salon. The spa was busy, he was in a hurry, I showed him a picture and told him to give me the same thing as last time except with shorter bangs.
When I was done, I wanted to cry. It looked AWFUL. It was weird and stringy and mullet-like, a hair helmet (hairmet was the term Husband came up with) and NOTHING at all like what I wanted, had ever had before, or even close to what I asked for.
I high tailed it out of there before I broke into tears and took myself to a small restaurant where I gorged myself on an entree, bread, dessert, and cafe con leche. I then proceeded to walk (this is where some of my exercise comes in) to Dunkin Donuts where I then purchased a muffin, 2 donuts, and another cafe con leche. And then I ate it. All. of. it.
I did it knowing full well that what I was doing was unhealthy and I didn't care. I was punishing myself. For what? I don't know. It wasn't like I cut my own hair (although it looked as though I did, blindfolded and with a machete) but I felt so angry and ugly that I wanted to further punctuate that feeling by abusing food and being cruel to myself, because after all, I deserved it.
So dumb.
And the worst thing is...I knew it was dumb and irrational the entire time I was doing it!
Crazy. I know.
Today I finally had it. I put my foot down and said, "Kara, enough is enough! You do not deserve this type of treatment! You deserve love and respect! You deserve to feel healthy and good! God gave you ONE body...why the abuse? Do you not appreciate what you have?"
I also came across something today on a blog I was reading today that hit me like a ton of bricks.
See, lately I have been dealing with some stuff (as I am sure we all have) and seem to have lost perspective. I have been desperately searching for it and while doing so have come slightly unraveled, overwhelmed, and feel like I am spinning out of control (hence the over eating). Much of it stems from being angry.
Now, I know what the bible says about anger and that love is slow to anger and that an angry person is a foolish one but reading this excerpt made me realize that the motivation behind my recent actions were so anger based.
This is what got me:
"Should anybody buy into this silly notion that anger is sometimes or often necessary?
Do you not understand that anger is almost always an emotion for people who wish to
control others while simultaneously failing to control themselves?......"
Let me break this down as to why it hit me the way it did (Man, God does truly work in mysterious ways and it is amazing to me how He uses different methods of getting the point across!)
I have been searching lately....searching for an answer to my woes not even fully comprehending what my woes are. I was searching in the dark basically.
I have had an incredulous attitude, have been completely unmotivated to see the positive side of anything, and I have been sure to voice my complaints loud and proud, to anyone that would listen, whether they wanted to or not. I can almost guarantee it was the latter.
Thankfully, I have a wonderful Husband who I can confide in and he always gives me loving (and very logical and honest) advice; he has played a huge role in gaining perspective.
Luckily, I also have good friends around me that don't get too hung up on my moodiness and know me for me and love me regardless. I will say, however, that I was unfairly taking advantage of that leeway and was totally abusing that boundary. For that I did apologize and I feel really bad about it but all I can do is look ahead and not allow a repeat offense in the future.
So, this morning as I was reading another blog post on this man's site, I perused older posts and found one that was called You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.
It really had nothing to do with this post necessarily, but that one blurb really was exactly what I needed to read.
It spoke to my heart. A little off the subjst for a moment, I think everyone should read this post, whether you have kids or not...If you are even considering having a child, please take a few minutes and read this post.
It brought me back to my childhood.
But it helped me realize that I was in fact acting out of anger.
There are situations in my life and people that determine those situations and their outcomes that I have absolutely no say or control over; I just have to abide by the decisions and live them out. Lately it has been a lot for me to deal with (and in all honesty it made me mad). That is just about the time the spiral started.
Then other situations or circumstances in my life felt out of control and then my haircut happened which as silly as it may sound only compounded the other feelings of anger I had been repressing and it was also a pretty traumatic experience for me.
I was angry!
I was angry that I could not control these circumstances and situations and I really was unable to control myself on certain levels. I allowed myself to swirl down the spiral of despair and had blinders on to all the good around me; all I chose to focus on was the negative, the bad, whatever was against what I wanted.
I had to remind myself yesterday that the world did not revolve around me and my wants and needs.
But today, I decided that it was time for a new attitude. It was time for a change.
I don't want to live an angry life as an angry person.
I have so much to be thankful for and to be happy about.
Sometimes I allow myself to get wrapped up in material things and overlook the priceless things. Sometimes I get my priorities out of order. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and a little out of control.
I am bound to make mistakes and get angry from time to time, but I really hope that this new perspective helps me handle things a lot differently the next time I am faced with something that is out of my control.
It is much like the Serenity Prayer...
" God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot
change; courage to change the things I can; and the
wisdom to know the difference."
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Food for thought....
How is it that seemingly incompetent people are in charge of making decisions for peoples' lives? Even more confusing to me is the fact that these people have no real regard for the other people.
It makes me sad and leaves me underwhelmed at the lack of commitment to integrity, respect, and loyalty.
It angers me that there is no trust when there should be and no honor in doing a job the right way in order to protect the innocent and take care of others.
When did people stop caring? When did personal, self serving judgment calls override what is right for the task at hand and for the people productively and effectively completing said task?
How is it that the people "in charge" posses poor communication skills, lack empathy, and do not know how to listen? How are you supposed to take care of people when you are busy pointing fingers?
When did things stop being seen for what they are? Since when is it someone else's responsibility to pick up the pieces from another person's foul? Since when does it make sense to expect a person to do something you would not do yourself?
Since when is it ok to place blame on someone unfairly? Where is the justice in that? Where is the honor in that? Where is the integrity in that? There isn't any.
I really wish people would be less knee-jerk reactive to situations and actually pay attention to what is happening before they go off and say hurtful things, make accusations, and determine the situation through fogged lenses and broken information.
If you are a leader then lead. Lead by example. Lead by an example that you want others to follow.
Lead in a way that exudes integrity, respect, honor, and loyalty. Serve selflessly for the people you are in charge of. Even God was the servant of the people, though he lead and taught them.
Any successful leader has been a servant of those they ruled over because the people and their well-being was top priority.
Leaders (by position, not definition) who led through self serving motivation were not leaders; they were selfish and self centered. People who lead in this fashion now are no different. They are failures as leaders.
Being a leader is something to be proud of, something to take seriously, something to use as a platform to take care of others and act in their best interest. It is not intended to be used as a vehicle for manipulation, threats, degradation, humiliation, or fear tactics.
It is a shame, really, to have such poor leadership in this world. But, it is not impossible to make a difference.
One person at a time can make a difference.
If you are a leader or strive to be, take into consideration the responsibilities that position requires. Do the right thing. Be a leader of people not a leader of illogical and irrational self service.
There is already enough of that.
It makes me sad and leaves me underwhelmed at the lack of commitment to integrity, respect, and loyalty.
It angers me that there is no trust when there should be and no honor in doing a job the right way in order to protect the innocent and take care of others.
When did people stop caring? When did personal, self serving judgment calls override what is right for the task at hand and for the people productively and effectively completing said task?
How is it that the people "in charge" posses poor communication skills, lack empathy, and do not know how to listen? How are you supposed to take care of people when you are busy pointing fingers?
When did things stop being seen for what they are? Since when is it someone else's responsibility to pick up the pieces from another person's foul? Since when does it make sense to expect a person to do something you would not do yourself?
Since when is it ok to place blame on someone unfairly? Where is the justice in that? Where is the honor in that? Where is the integrity in that? There isn't any.
I really wish people would be less knee-jerk reactive to situations and actually pay attention to what is happening before they go off and say hurtful things, make accusations, and determine the situation through fogged lenses and broken information.
If you are a leader then lead. Lead by example. Lead by an example that you want others to follow.
Lead in a way that exudes integrity, respect, honor, and loyalty. Serve selflessly for the people you are in charge of. Even God was the servant of the people, though he lead and taught them.
Any successful leader has been a servant of those they ruled over because the people and their well-being was top priority.
Leaders (by position, not definition) who led through self serving motivation were not leaders; they were selfish and self centered. People who lead in this fashion now are no different. They are failures as leaders.
Being a leader is something to be proud of, something to take seriously, something to use as a platform to take care of others and act in their best interest. It is not intended to be used as a vehicle for manipulation, threats, degradation, humiliation, or fear tactics.
It is a shame, really, to have such poor leadership in this world. But, it is not impossible to make a difference.
One person at a time can make a difference.
If you are a leader or strive to be, take into consideration the responsibilities that position requires. Do the right thing. Be a leader of people not a leader of illogical and irrational self service.
There is already enough of that.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Urgency
I woke up this morning at 245 with an overwhelming urgency to contact my Husband.
It wasn't a gut feeling per se, but it was definitely strong.
I didn't want to regret not doing so later, and since I was wide awake, I got up to check if I could get a hold of him online.
No such luck; but I did have a very short, very charming email from him awaiting me in my inbox.
Have you ever just felt so lucky in your life that you don't know how to express your gratitude appropriately?
Lately, it is so apparent to me that my situation warrants some type of "giving back" for all that I am blessed with.
I mean, sure I pray and thank the Lord everyday for the wealth he has bestowed on my life (not monetary necessarily, but a definite abundance in wonderful people, situations, and experiences).
But is that really enough?
I am not sure how and I am not sure exactly when, but I want to do something with my life to show my appreciation for the incredible life I have been given. I want to give back the way I have been given to, share the way that I have been shared with, and love the way I have been given love.
Maybe I should pray for guidance on that in addition to being thankful.......
It wasn't a gut feeling per se, but it was definitely strong.
I didn't want to regret not doing so later, and since I was wide awake, I got up to check if I could get a hold of him online.
No such luck; but I did have a very short, very charming email from him awaiting me in my inbox.
Have you ever just felt so lucky in your life that you don't know how to express your gratitude appropriately?
Lately, it is so apparent to me that my situation warrants some type of "giving back" for all that I am blessed with.
I mean, sure I pray and thank the Lord everyday for the wealth he has bestowed on my life (not monetary necessarily, but a definite abundance in wonderful people, situations, and experiences).
But is that really enough?
I am not sure how and I am not sure exactly when, but I want to do something with my life to show my appreciation for the incredible life I have been given. I want to give back the way I have been given to, share the way that I have been shared with, and love the way I have been given love.
Maybe I should pray for guidance on that in addition to being thankful.......
Sunday, September 26, 2010
As you will notice...
I have added some tabs to the blog and am working on adding a couple more.
Please check out the links page, as it is loaded with a plethora of great information and cool stuff!!
If you have anything else you would like me to add, leave me a comment!
Please check out the links page, as it is loaded with a plethora of great information and cool stuff!!
If you have anything else you would like me to add, leave me a comment!
Decompressing
So it has been a few days since I posted last. Not much has gone on, to be honest.
Work this past week was stressful. I was hitting a serious wall in terms of creativity, patience, and motivation. I was also possibly suffering from a mild case of burn-out. I hope it is better this week.
Training is going well.
This week I only did CF 4 days, but we are upping the ante in the gym so the WODs were more difficult that normal. I am striving for a solid 5 days a week in the gym. This week I will try to build up to that.
I still have not started CF Endurance, but I think I am going to slowly start incorporating that this week as well.
The effects of the other night's post WOD hamstring work out consisting of 8 rounds, :20 work/ :10 rest are still lingering today and I am still really sore. I need to stretch.
I am feeling lazy.
I hate that feeling.
I did watch 2 movies this week. I went to see SALT the other night and Going the Distance last night. I was disappointed by both of them.
Salt was just ridiculous, with its predictable story line with little depth and unrealistic aspects of human ability; there was a lot of fighting, car chases, and explosions though. It is definitely a movie you want to watch when you don't really need to pay attention and you just want to see a lot of things blowing up and bloody A kicking. 2.5/5 stars
Going the Distance was ok. I will give it 3/5 stars.
While it wasn't horrible, it wasn't as great as the previews made it out to be. Some of the acting was bad, the way it was shot was choppy, and it was a little over the top vulgar for no reason. Sure, there were some funny parts; Christina Applegate and Jim Gaffigan were hilarious, and Charlie Day (as always) was a complete train wreck and I love it. But really, Drew and Justin really didn't seem to steal the show.
IMO, Charlie Day did.
But really, that is about it. As you can see, there was no real reason to post.
It would have been something like this:
I woke up.
Yay.
Pretty exciting, I know. Please, contain yourselves.
Well, the nutrition is on track and I have recently reintroduced a few items to see if I had any adverse reactions and so far so good.
I am doing well with no nightshades, however I did eat a little tomato in some guacamole without even thinking about it until I was already done and at lunch the other day, but I highly doubt it was enough of a "dose" to throw my body into a hysterical bout of inflammation. All in all it was probably the equivalent of maybe 2 slices of tomato. Maybe.
I have been successful with falling in line with a skin care regimen, although the products I really want to use have not arrived yet. I am proud of myself for sticking to something like that. Normally I do it for a week or so and stop. But this year, I have been better about that type of stuff.
I now floss 3 days a week.
It was a New Year's Resolution of mine to start flossing and I have stuck with it!
Anyway, this is beginning to be a ramble-fest. I hope everyone had a safe and fun weekend.
Work this past week was stressful. I was hitting a serious wall in terms of creativity, patience, and motivation. I was also possibly suffering from a mild case of burn-out. I hope it is better this week.
Training is going well.
This week I only did CF 4 days, but we are upping the ante in the gym so the WODs were more difficult that normal. I am striving for a solid 5 days a week in the gym. This week I will try to build up to that.
I still have not started CF Endurance, but I think I am going to slowly start incorporating that this week as well.
The effects of the other night's post WOD hamstring work out consisting of 8 rounds, :20 work/ :10 rest are still lingering today and I am still really sore. I need to stretch.
I am feeling lazy.
I hate that feeling.
I did watch 2 movies this week. I went to see SALT the other night and Going the Distance last night. I was disappointed by both of them.
Salt was just ridiculous, with its predictable story line with little depth and unrealistic aspects of human ability; there was a lot of fighting, car chases, and explosions though. It is definitely a movie you want to watch when you don't really need to pay attention and you just want to see a lot of things blowing up and bloody A kicking. 2.5/5 stars
Going the Distance was ok. I will give it 3/5 stars.
While it wasn't horrible, it wasn't as great as the previews made it out to be. Some of the acting was bad, the way it was shot was choppy, and it was a little over the top vulgar for no reason. Sure, there were some funny parts; Christina Applegate and Jim Gaffigan were hilarious, and Charlie Day (as always) was a complete train wreck and I love it. But really, Drew and Justin really didn't seem to steal the show.
IMO, Charlie Day did.
But really, that is about it. As you can see, there was no real reason to post.
It would have been something like this:
I woke up.
Yay.
Pretty exciting, I know. Please, contain yourselves.
Well, the nutrition is on track and I have recently reintroduced a few items to see if I had any adverse reactions and so far so good.
I am doing well with no nightshades, however I did eat a little tomato in some guacamole without even thinking about it until I was already done and at lunch the other day, but I highly doubt it was enough of a "dose" to throw my body into a hysterical bout of inflammation. All in all it was probably the equivalent of maybe 2 slices of tomato. Maybe.
I have been successful with falling in line with a skin care regimen, although the products I really want to use have not arrived yet. I am proud of myself for sticking to something like that. Normally I do it for a week or so and stop. But this year, I have been better about that type of stuff.
I now floss 3 days a week.
It was a New Year's Resolution of mine to start flossing and I have stuck with it!
Anyway, this is beginning to be a ramble-fest. I hope everyone had a safe and fun weekend.
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